Fiddle Me This/Transcript

Hey, there's an open spot.

I don't know, looks a little snug.

Nonsense.

[backup alarm beeping]

[metallic scraping]

[beeping continues]

[scraping continues]

All right kids, meet back here in 15 minutes.

Bog Bath & Beyond, here I come.

[chuckles] Don't mind if I do.

Well, good mornin', Hopadiah.

Mornin', Wartilda. How are the kids?

Great. You know,

my daughter just got accepted to Newtopia University.

[whistles] That's the big league right there.

Yep, she's got a bright future.

Good thing too. Ascots aren't as popular as they used to be.

Yeah, vegetables aren't doing so hot either.

People these days are all about fruit.

That's life, I suppose.

Um, maybe only four ascots this month, Wartilda.

[sighs]

Sure wish I could give Sprig and Polly a better future.

[Sprig, Polly exclaim] Huh?

Well, what's over there, more ascots?

Whoo-hoo! Amphibia's Got Talent is coming to Wartwood.

-Wait, what is this nonsense? -We've got the same thing in my world.

It's a contest where regular people get on stage

and try to prove they're special.

That sounds potentially humiliating.

Yeah, you get it.

Yeah, I get it. [both laugh]

[Sprig] "Auditions are being held this weekend."

Hey. Could be fun to play my fiddle in front of a crowd.

[up-beat tune]

Eh? Eh?

I don't know, Sprig. [Anne] One thing's for sure.

Winning this kinda thing sets you up

for a life of success and opportunity.

[echoing] Opportunity, opportunity...

[slurping]

How's life, Polly?

Ding-dang delightful.

At last, I can rest...

forever.

Wait. If this is the future, why don't I have legs?

Why am I still here?

Hey. Can't you see I'm trying to pass on?

[sighs]

[Anne] Hey, Hop Pop. [snapping fingers]

-Did Hop Pop just leave us? -Should we get help? I'll get help.

Hold on there, boy.

Let's give this talent show nonsense a try.

It's a long shot, but with enough dedication and teamwork,

I'm sure we can make you a star.

Who's with me? [both cheer]

Anne, how'd you pay for all that junk?

I may or may not have mortgaged the house. [others] What?

The moth!

One of nature's most seductive animals.

Cool. All right.

Inspired by this majestic creature,

I've designed an act for Sprig

that will guarantee we take home first prize.

Anne. You're in charge of costume design and makeup.

I'm thinking cosmic, ethereal, interdimensional.

Very flattering.

-Polly. -Yes, Coach?

You're Chief Morale Officer. What?

That's not a real job. Why can't I be the star?

I've got talent too.

All right, let's see what you got.

[clears throat] Here's a little ditty

I wrote by myself.

[deep breath]

[off-key] ♪ La ♪

♪ La ♪

♪ La ♪

Like I said. Morale.

Fine.

And as for you, Sprig,

you have the hardest job of all.

Huh? We'll be working on your act together.

From dusk till dawn. Rain or shine.

Till heck or high water.

Hop Pop, aren't-- [grunts]

Aren't we taking this all just a little too seriously?

Sprig, success takes work.

It takes dedication, sacrifice.

You don't wanna end up like that guy, do you?

No job. No prospects. No future.

Just look at him, Sprig.

Hop Pop, that's a wor-- Let the hard work begin.

[blows whistle] [yelps]

[blowing whistle] [panting]

[gagging]

Come on, boy. Chug it.

Well, this is horrible.

Now to work on your stage faces.

Happy cute.

Sad cute.

Jealous cute.

I said jealous cute.

I don't know what that looks like.

[blows whistle] [yelps]

[repeating notes]

-[blows whistle] -Whoa!

[up-beat tune]

[ladybug whinnies]

[Sprig whimpering]

Whoa!

[classical]

[both] Whoo-hoo!

[panting]

Well, how was that?

It was amazing, dude. You're gonna slay, brother.

Yecch! You call that an act?

I counted three whole mistakes, Sprig. Three.

I mean, it doesn't have to be perfect, right?

It does if you wanna win.

Now go give me 50 laps.

Hop Pop, this is crazy.

I just want to have fun up there.

Fun? Can you eat fun?

Can you make a fun deposit into your fun savings?

Is fun a beautiful mansion with a front gate shaped like a giant fiddle?

What? [blows whistle]

Okay, okay. Fine, geez. Fine. [whistle blowing]

-[whistle continues] -[Sprig panting]

[announcer] Welcome to Amphibia's Got Talent!

[cheering]

Hey, shoo! Go away, shoo!

[vocalizing]

Hoo-whee!

I'm thinking, launch him.

Yeah, way ahead of you.

[ground rumbling] [yelps]

[crowd cheering] Heh, heh.

All right, gang. This is ours to lose.

Sprig, you ready?

[coughing] As ready as I'll ever be.

Then get out there and win, win, win!

All right, next up is "Sprig Plantar."

Sprig? Ugh. Performing "Flight of the Moth."

[crowd gasps]

Well, hello there. I know. Right?

[classical, fast tempo]

[crowd exclaims]

[cheering]

It's working. It's working.

Now, Anne, the final touch.

On it.

[crowd cheering]

[crowd gasps]

It's perfection,

everything I could've hoped for.

[bat squeals]

-[crowd gasps] -[both yelp]

[Sprig screaming]

Whoa!

Aah! Sprig!

What do we do? What can we do?

[all scream]

Whoa-ohh-ohh!

[gasps]

Anne, get to that judges' table and wait for my signal.

Pardon me, saving my friend. Love your hair by the way.

Hang on, Polly.

[Sprig screaming]

-Now! -[grunts]

[both screaming]

[gasping, yelping]

[crowd gasps]

[gasping, yelping]

Polly, now's your time to shine.

Sing!

[gasps, inhales]

[inhaling]

-♪ La ♪ -[bat screeches]

♪ La ♪

[screaming]

Ah! I got you. I got you.

I got--

-[crowd cheering] -Outstanding!

Grandson? Are you okay?

Oh, I shouldn't have forced you into this.

Because of me and this stupid act,

you were almost digested.

Gah! All I wanted to do was to have... fun

and play my fiddle on stage.

Why'd you have to push me so hard?

Well, I just...

I ran into Wartilda, and she said--

And ascots are--

Vegetables are just not doing well anymore.

And heck, in a couple of years, I don't even know if the stand will be around.

[sighs]

I just wanted to give you a better life

than the one I can give you now.

Hop Pop, my life is perfect the way it is.

And as long as you're in it,

my future will be pretty cool too.

Oh... [sniffling]

-[crying] -[Sprig chuckles]

Absolutely mesmerizing performances.

I'm quaking with emotion.

And how did you ever train that bat?

Or this thing for that matter? Hey.

We hereby declare this family

the winning act of Wartwood's Got Talent.

[crowd cheering]

You simply must come tour with us.

Yes. And share your vision with the rest of the valley.

Thanks, but we like things the way they are.

We don't gotta be stars.

We will keep the trophy. It's gonna help us buy our house back.

[all laughing]

There goes the weirdest family I've ever seen. Absolutely, darling.

[clears throat] Well, Toadie,

I'd say that last act was pretty bad, wouldn't you?

[together] Oh, crud-- [scream]

[crowd cheering]