Hopping Mall/Transcript

[chattering]

[squawks]

Whoa. Look at this place.

-It's just like the outdoor mega mall from back home. -Mm-hmm. Sure.

Anyway, since we only have a couple of days left in the city,

I figured we could spend the afternoon shopping for souvenirs.

Now get out there and buy anything you'd like!

-[excited chatter] -For two coppers or less.

-[grunts] -What?

-This ain't even enough for a candy bar. -Yeah, what gives?

Let's just use that sweet bling-bling from the king-king.

Oh, yeah. The royal credit card.

Nuh-uh. Kids, souvenirs are only meaningful

-if you pay for them yourself. -[all groan]

-You could always try haggling. -Hag what?

You know, bargain with shopkeepers till they lower their prices.

You can do that? Oh, these newts aren't gonna know what hit 'em.

-[Polly laughing] -Wait, Polly!

Don't actually hit anyone!

Ooh, exciting.

I guess I'd better get an item for Ivy,

since we are an item. [laughs, snorts]

Who are you gonna shop for?

-My mom. -Your... mom?

I figure if I'm gonna go missing in a different dimension,

the least I could do is bring back a gift.

Seems reasonable to me.

Wha... When did you? How did you?

Don't know. But isn't it perfect for Ivy?

It even whistles when you swing it.

-[grunts] -Watch this...

[grunts]

Wa-ta!

-My pots! -Sorry, sorry!

Bill the king! Bill the king.

[panting]

"Massage your tuchus the right way

with this chair full of rumble bugs.

Your life will never be the ding-dang same."

Pfft. How good could it be?

[chair vibrates]

-Oh, my frog! -[bird squawks]

Now, this is for my mom, okay? The lady who gave me life.

So we gotta find something that's one-of-a-kind.

-[sniffs, coughs] -What does she like?

Antiques, butterflies, drinking tea...

Okay, well, how about this box of herbal tea?

-Too ordinary. -[grunts]

-Giant butterfly taxidermy? -Too creepy.

This antique vase?

This broken antique vase?

Wait. Look over there.

Whoa. A butterfly teapot?

[Anne] And it was made by a revered Newtopian artist?

Sprig, it's perfect!

Excuse me, how much for the teapot?

Sorry, it's not for sale.

What? No, 200 coppers. No, 600 coppers.

I will pay 90,000 coppers.

Anne, you have two coppers.

It's not for sale, because it's the grand prize

in the market's annual Shopping Cart Smash and Mash Derby.

If you want the teapot, you should sign up.

You sure about this? We don't even know what this competition is.

Sprig, it's the perfect gift, and this is the only way to get it.

Nothing is gonna stand in my way.

[Priscilla scoffs] That's what you think.

[gasps]

Name's Priscilla the Killa.

Champion of the Smash and Mash Derby 20 years running.

-This is my daughter Pearl. -Hello.

And that teapot is mine.

[both laugh]

Hey, Mom, how do you spell "winner"?

Just put your name, sweetie.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm Anne,

and I'm gonna destroy you in this derby thing,

as soon as I figure out how to play.

-[both laugh] -This is gonna be easier than I thought.

-See you in the ring, Mop Top. -[both laugh]

-They seem confident. -Come on, dude.

We gotta study up on this game.

So, teams of two push carts around and ram into each other.

If your cart tips over, you're out.

Other than that, anything goes. Sounds like my kinda game.

[thud]

-Is it bad? -[metal clanging]

What's that noise?

Whoa. Polly?

Oh, hey. Like my new bucket?

[grunts] That's gotta be worth, like, 50 coppers.

-How'd you... -Haggling, baby.

[grunts] Turns out I'm a natural.

All you gotta do is expose a shopkeeper's weakness,

and then exploit it until they're on their knees begging for mercy.

[laughs] Oh, look, bows.

Okay, focus. Let's go win that teapot.

First, we pick our cart, which should be pretty easy.

-Give me that! -Get your own cart!

-[screams] -[Anne] Hmm.

[rattling]

[squeaking]

[sniffs, licks]

[smacks lips] Pass. This one's a C-plus at best.

-[clapping] -Wow. You're really good at this.

Me, Sasha and Marcy practically lived at the mall.

So I'm pretty much a cart whisperer.

Attention all smashers.

The Smash and Mash Derby is about to begin.

Oh, shoot. We gotta hurry.

Let's split up and find a cart already.

-But, Mom... -Ah, stop worrying, Pearl.

I've been the Derby champ 20 years running.

There's no way anyone else is winning that teapot.

That's not what I'm worried about.

It's your tail. It hasn't healed from your last derby.

Relax. I can beat these chumps without it.

-[groans] -Now, come on. Let's get outta here.

[chuckles] Very interesting.

[cheering, chattering]

-A tail injury? -Yep.

Don't know how that's gonna help us yet, but... Whoa! Polly.

Guys, meet Micro-Angelo, my private chauffeur.

[chirps]

[both] Whoa.

Well, nice chatting with ya,

but I've got more haggling to do.

Okay, focus. Let's scope out the competish.

-[growls] -[both scream]

[both] Tea pot! Tea pot! Tea pot!

It's okay, dude. We've got this.

Look, even Hop Pop believes in us.

[moaning]

Actually, I don't know what's going on there.

Yoo-hoo. Ready to lose?

-[laughs] -[grunts]

[announcer] Players, on your marks...

-[engine revving sounds] - Get ready...

All right, you crazy animals, smash and mash!

[crowd cheering]

[clamoring]

[grunts]

[grunts, screams]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[growls]

[snarls, groans]

-[crowd cheers] -He's fine.

[announcer] This is it, ladies and gentle-newts. Only two carts left.

Come on, Sprig. We can do this...

[both grunt, scream]

[both groan]

[crowd screams]

Looks like this battle is too big for the ring.

[Priscilla grunting]

"Page two, using the brakes."

-[both scream] -[all] Not the baby!

Initiating secret special cart maneuver, ollie pop.

Ollie what?

-[brakes squealing] -[both groan]

-[both scream] -Ah! I gotta use my tail.

It's the only way to not murder that pollywog!

But, Mom, your injury!

Hush. I have no choice.

-[groans] -Mom!

-[brakes squeals] -[Polly groans]

I wasn't worried.

-[panting] -[Anne] Hey, you guys okay?

-Yeah, we're fine. -[Anne] Okay, good.

Now, Sprig!

[all gasp]

Aw.

[groans]

[announcer] Mop Top wins. Mop Top wins!

-[crowd cheers] Mop Top! -Uh, can we not make that a thing?

Here you are, ma'am, just as promised.

[squeals] My mom is gonna love this.

-Sorry about your staff, dude. -It's okay.

If it broke this easy, it wasn't good enough for Ivy.

At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

Hey, Mop Top.

Congratulations. You won fair and square.

Oh, uh, thanks.

Just make sure you take care of that thing, okay?

The newt who made it was special.

-One-of-a-kind. -One-of-a-kind?

Yeah, the kind who encouraged you to follow your dreams,

even if they were wacky and dangerous.

[chuckles] The kind who cut the crust off your sandwiches

'cause she knew you didn't like 'em.

That teapot was the last piece of art she ever made.

So like I said, take care of it.

Was the artist your mom by any chance?

Yeah.

I was gonna give this to my mom when I got home,

but I think she'd want you to have it.

No, I couldn't.

Please, I insist.

N... [sighs] Thank you. This means so much to us.

You're not half bad, Mop Top.

Anne. My name's Anne.

-Hey! -[gasps]

Thank you for being so generous.

Here. I'd be honored if you gave it to your mom.

I'm no famous artist, but I made it myself

and it's one-of-a-kind.

Thank you. It's perfect.

-Don't be a stranger, Anne. -[Pearl] Bye.

Well, now that that's over, you guys seen Hop Pop?

Oh, heya, kids. Yoo-hoo!

Eh, just packing a small souvenir, uh, then we can head out.

Whoa. You got that for two coppers?

I sure did. [chuckles]

Amazing what you can get for two coppers these days.

[Anne] Hmm.

Okay, fine. I used the credit card!

I'm so ashamed.

But if you could just feel this thing, kids.

It's heaven on your rump. Nirvana on your tush. Bliss on your buttocks.

[Anne, Sprig, Polly] We got it.

[gasps] I just had the worst dream.

You up, Anne? Anne?

It's so pretty. I'm sure your mom's gonna love it.

Hmm. Yeah.

What's she like?

My mom? Um, kind... in her own way.

But strict too. She wanted me to study more.

Thought I goofed off too much.

We didn't always see eye to eye.

She annoyed me sometimes too. Like, in the kitchen,

she'd always sing these goofy Thai love songs,

and, man, was her singing bad.

Woof! That woman was beyond tone-deaf.

You know, the funny thing is, right now I would give anything just to hear her singing.

Whoa! Sorry, sorry. I just, uh, need a moment.

[sighs]

It's cool you know your mom, though.

Mine passed away when me and Polly were really young.

I don't even remember what she looked like really.

Much less the sound of her voice.

You know, I've always wondered...

can you miss someone you never actually knew?

[chuckles] That's silly. I mean, of course you can't.