Thread:Bluebird Azurite5/@comment-37353643-20200830013731/@comment-37353643-20200924230727

Well, alright then. Here's the summary of the first and seconds episodes of C S :

First:

So, basically, August is on a call with his mom, who's trying to see if he's alright or not (his statement after is r u d e). After that, Kevin is stalking his ex-girlfriend Scarlett and then tries to reignite their relationship. She rejects him due to Facebook statuses, and while he's explaining their first date, she walks off. August and Kevin then get into a little back-in-forth about Kevin's pining after the uninterested Scarlett, and Kevin gets gunned down. Worse, he fails a test.

Later, an unnamed girl (Penny) is in the cafeteria and tries to sit with the stereotypical popular girls (three being based on MLP characters). She is told that she has to be a mindless drone to be part of their group (something she doesn't want to do for some reason), awkward silence ensues, Scarlett disses ska-punk, Penny almost dies, and Penny walks away. For some inexplicable reason, Penny can't find a table anywhere else except for the table with August and Kevin (and their three loser friends), so she reluctantly goes to ask to sit with them, unknowingly interrupting a very important Nick Swardson discussion. At first, they are unsure, but after talking it out (and Kevin being kartoonishly flung across the room), they accept her invitation.

The men of the hour introduce themselves, and we unceremoniously find out that one of the loser friends (Nicole) is gay. Penny starts talking with the two other loser friends (Dom and Tom) about their twinhood, and Kevin has a (not really) death by piano and Looney Tunes reference while going to continue his stalking.

In class afterward (FEATURING TIMMY TURNER!), an unnamed boy (HIS NAME IS REVEALED TO BE DREW IN THE FIRST 5 SECONDS OF HIS APPEARANCE) asks the bipolar teacher if she's a Community/China, IL/Nickelodeon character, and to no surprise, the teach responds angrily. Penny and Nicole then engage in a staring contest before rebooting their mainframes and Drew interrupts again to hypothetically ask the consequences of not doing the essay. In response, Mrs. DeLite pulls a Zuko on Drew's face, except it's an 'F' instead of a scar.

Kevin is then a pervert to Scarlett, American-offensive words are accepted by Kevin, and Nicole trashes Kevin for a long, yet unknown amount of time (DID YOU EVEN COUNT!?).

Once class ends, Drew is also unceremoniously revealed to be gay (though as an Italian, he denies it), August, Kevin, and Penny's grades all match and coincide with the show title (gUeSs wHaT tHeY gOt), and Penny decides to take up Kevin's stalking business with the same customer. While stalking, Penny hears the popular girl group trashing her (albeit with a hint of subtlety), bursts out crying (that's an exaggeration), and August trashes Kevin's jacket (WHAT IS WITH ALL THE TRASHING!?). Once the men of the hour see Penny bawling, they confront her and learn why she wanted to be with the popular girls so much: She feels like an outcast to girls her own age (always has), and while she loves hanging out with August and Kevin (in her own words, she thinks they're "nice, funny, and diverse", with the last one only being half-true), she just wishes they were girls (leading to a Deviant Ar t -esque gender bender).

In response, August rather profoundly states that while he too knows how it feels to be unaccepted and have what he wants not be given to him, that is true for everyone and eventually, you have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes you'll just to take what lives throws at you and go along with it, whether you want to or not.

In response to that response, Kevin rather dumbly states that if Penny wants female friends, she will eventually get that exact thing, and that wanting something hard enough equates to being more motivated to make it happen.

Unsurprisingly and rather predictably, August and Kevin disagree about this and get into ANOTHER back-in-forth about their differing philosophies IN FRONT OF PENNY, before breaking into song HSM -style. The song's pretty good, it's got a Miley Cyrus reference, proof Kevin has his own "on fire" alarm, and a disgusting amount of tap-dancing.

Once they're done, they laugh, drop Kevin, agree to go to a hipster concert (typical teenagers), and they end the episode by trashing HSM (actually, no, the end is when Dom and Tom break the fourth-QUIET, YOU!). And that's the end of Episode 1.

Second:

So, basically, the C-grade trio walks into a trashy night club with their tuxedos and dresses and fedoras (sickos) and come across one of their loser frien-I mean NICOLE, who's on her iPhone 6s Plus (she's rich like that, apparently). She puts the phone away, trashes Kevin (who doesn't really need it, he makes an imbecile of himself right after), and gets a nosebleed after looking at Penny (did I mention she's gay?) in her red dress.

Afterward, Nicole breaks the law and threatens to beat up August after he tells her he saw the law-breaking activity. Nicole is then revealed to be gay again and kills a nerd trying to wish her luck with her performance with a bottle (hOw fUn!).

August then goes to reserve their seats while Kevin goes to drink some Al-kee-hol. August asks Penny to make sure Kevin doesn't turn into the "human embodiment of Iron Man 2 ", Penny agrees (trashing Kevin the process), they leave, and August experiences the funniest........ transformation of all time.

Kevin starts to drink some Al-kee-hol (with a blatantly fake ID), and he reveals to Penny that he started drinking when he was 9 (previously lied about it being 13 and subsequently lied about it being 4), much to Penny's unwarranted shock (seriously, OF COURSE he started drinking when he was young, it explains why he's so........ Kevin now).

Penny gives good advice about taking it easy with the Al-kee-hol, Kevin gets a poem idea, and Kevin emotionally manipulates Penny into drinking Al-kee-hol by playing on her insecurity about not having more female friends and lying that drinking would have helped her achieve that goal.

Basically, Kevin is a terrible friend for 4 seconds.

Moving right along, Kevin references bleeding, Penny plays into Kevin's trap and agrees to drink some sweet, sweet Al-kee-hol, and about 50 MINUTES LATER, August realizes Penny and Kevin are g o n e.

He then asks this blonde bartender (alliteration!) if he's seen a "girl with auburn hair and a red dress, or this British guy dressed like me with hair the exact same color as my skin", the bartender says he did with way too much detail and profanity, he shatters his glass (THE SECOND TIME THAT HAPPENED!), August drinks water for some dumb reason, and finally, August screams........................

WHAT!?

And that's the end.