Trip to the Archives/Transcript

Hop Pop: Now, remember, gang. The mountain pass will clear up in one week. Meaning, it's almost time to leave this valley and find Anne a way home.

Anne: Whoo! Love that!

Sprig: Excitement!

Polly: Sights!

Hop Pop: And you know the best way to start a quest?

Sprig: Danger?

Polly: Weapons?

Hop Pop: Research!

All: [groans]

Hop Pop: Oh, come on, gang. We'll never get Anne home if we get bitten to death by a venomous snake fly.

Nearby snake fly: [hisses]

Hop Pop: Or eaten to death by a camouflaged sod skink.

(A sod skink appears and kills the snake fly.)

Hop Pop: Or crushed to death by a sand liger.

(A sand liger appears and kills the sod skink.)

Sand liger: [roars]

Anne: Okay, okay, okay. Enough death already. Sheesh. I'm beginning to think you guys are obsessed.

Sprig: [groans] The town archives? [grunts]This place is dustier than Dusty's dustbin.

Polly: Who?

Sprig: Come on. You know Dusty. Local dust merchant. Friendly, always smiling, sells dust.

Polly: Oh, yeah, yeah. Right.

Anne: I get this place. It's like a library from my world. Zoobooks and manga, here I come!

Hop Pop: Enough chatter, you three. Time to hit the books.

Sprig: Wait! Wouldn't we be better off preparing by diving headfirst into deadly situations?

Anne: Huh. Yeah. Maybe Sprig's right, Hop Pop. Research is overrated.

Hop Pop: Overrated, eh? How's diving into adventure been working out so far?

Anne: Hmm.

(Flashback of Anne and Sprig hiding from a fire-breathing giant mole.)

Mole: [roars]

Anne and Sprig: [screams]

(Flashback of Bessie caught in a mudslide.)

All: [screams]

(Flashback of all four tied up under a giant skunk.)

All: [screams]

Anne: No, no, no, no, no!

Polly: I can still smell that skunk juice. [shudders]

Anne: Yeah. Fair enough. Research it is.

Sprig: What? You're siding with Hop Pop?

Anne: This trip is gonna take us beyond the valley, Sprig. Who knows what we'll run into out there? (She bangs her head on low door.) Ow.

Sprig: [groans]

(They go inside.)

Anne: [whistles]

Sprig: [grunts] The archives.

Anne: This place seems pretty cool to me.

Sprig: Sure, it seems cool, until you realize all you do here is read other people's cool adventures.

Hop Pop: Okay, enough prattle. We gotta get a move on before we're locked in here.

Anne: Uh, come again?

Hop Pop: The door to this place is set on a sunlight timer. It opens when the sun rises and deadlocks when the sun sets.

Anne: That is some steampunky nonsense right there.

Sprig: [groans] Boring old books smelling like dumb old words.

Anne(reading): "Mycroft Newtback, archives founder. This structure, originally Newtback's home, was turned into the public archives after he died violently attempting to travel beyond the valley."

(All straighten.)

Anne: I'm gonna go hit those books.

Polly: Uh, reading time.

Sprig: Better get to it.

Hop Pop: Get my hands on those books.

Hop Pop: "Only nature facts." Fair. Well, now. Hold on. "Older than the old ways." Now this I gotta read. (He piles several books into his arms.)

(Polly is looking at a shelf labeled "Weapons".)

Polly: Hot mama.

Anne(looking at a book diagram of a carnivorous plant): Ew.

Sprig: Hi, Anne. What ya doing?

Anne: Get out of here, man.

Sprig: Oh, come on. Anne.

Anne: Yeah, Sprig?

Sprig: Wouldn't it be better if we found some plants to fight?

Anne: Nope. Here, see if you can find a way to survive a tiger viper attack.

Sprig: [groans] Stupid books. Stupid learning. Don't they want a real adventure?

[gears clink]

Sprig: Hmm.

Polly(reading a book entitled "Daggers and Where To Put Them"): Yes!

Hop Pop: All right, kids. Time for a lunch break.

Anne: I'm actually glad you suggested this, Hop Pop. I'm learning a ton about your terrifying world.

Polly: Did you guys know that there are 60 weapons in the Morningstar family?

Hop Pop: [gasps] The door is shut. That's not right. [grunts] Hmm. [gasps] The lens is missing!

Anne: What? Who would trap us in here?

Sprig: [clears throat] Maybe somebody is trying to prepare us by forcing us to dive in. Me! I did it.

Anne: Dude, have you lost your frog marbles? Put that piece back!

Sprig: Guys, reading these moldy, old books ain't gonna prepare us for squat. What we need is a daring escape from an old, underground library!

Hop Pop: What we need is you putting that piece back.

Polly: Yeah. Hand it over.

Sprig: [sighs] Fine. Party poopers. Uh, mmm. I know I have it, somewhere. (He accidentaly steps on the lens and it shatters.)

Polly: Well, that's not good.

Anne: [groans] Sprig!

Sprig: Uh, maybe I can fix it. Aha! Good as new! (He sneezes and the pieces fly everywhere.)

Anne: Dude!

Polly: Ah, come on!

Anne: Seriously?

Hop Pop: All of you, stop! Yelling at each other ain't fixing any of this.

Anne: So, what do we do?

Hop Pop: Well, we wait for someone to visit the archives.

Anne: Oh, okay. Well, when was the last time someone came down here?

Hop Pop: Well, I checked the logs, and it says...three years ago.

[bangs on door]

Anne and Polly: Help! Get us out of here! Help! Get us out of here! Help! Help! [panting]

Sprig: Enough of this negativity! [grunts] Come on, guys. This is our call to frog-venture right here. Did you forget who we are? This gang has been through a lot. And we're gonna make it through this too! I mean, we better. 'Cause if we don't, we'll be trapped here for weeks. No food, no water. Until they find our dehydrated, mummified bodies clawing at the door.

(Anne, Polly and Hop Pop cringe.)

Sprig: Yeah, I probably could have ended that speech earlier.

Anne: Let's just find a way out.

Sprig: That's the spirit!

(They try to ram the door with a mushroom lamp; it bounces off.)

All: [yells and groans]

(They try digging into the floor and find huge worms, which grab them.)

[creature roars]

All: [yells]

Hop Pop(trying to use his glasses to replace the lens): Hey, I should have thought of this sooner.

(The ground lights on fire.)

All: [gasps] [yells]

Hop Pop: Holy smokes!

[yells]

Hop Pop: [coughs]

Sprig: So...Not good.

Polly: [yells] Why did they have to put the door on a stupid sunlight timer?

Anne: [gasps] That's it! Light timer. Timer, sunlight, light, skylight! I bet we can get out through the skylight!

Sprig: Yeah! That's a great idea, Anne. Ha! [grunts]

(The Plantars have built a huge pile of books, which Anne has climbed on top of to reach the skylight.)

[tower creaks]

Anne: [groans, grunts, sighs]

Sprig: You're almost there!

Polly: Don't fall! I won't catch you!

Anne: It's totally okay. You're a baby! [grunts repeatedly] Almost got it! [struggles] Yes! [laughs, groans] Oh, yeah. No. Definitely can't fit through, though. Hey, I see Bessie. Bessie! Bessie, hey girl!

Bessie: [grunts]

Anne: Bessie, get help! Get help! Come on, girl!

Bessie: [grunts]

Anne: No! No. No, Bessie. Get-- No! Oh, come on. Never mind. Good news, guys. I can see the road from here. One of you can go for help!

All: [cheers]

Polly: All right!

Sprig: See guys? How do you feel about diving in now?

Hop Pop: Now, I suppose, if I'm honest, I do feel somewhat of a rush.

Polly: We can do anything!

Anne: Um, guys? [struggles] I'm stuck!

Sprig: What? [grunts]

Anne: [struggles] I'm seriously stuck! [struggles] Do something!

Sprig: I got this! [struggles] Whoa!

Polly: Whoa! Abandon ship!

Hop Pop: Whoa!

Anne: Uh, what just happened?

Sprig: Uh, nothing. Everything's fine.

Anne: Sprig!

Sprig: Okay, the books fell, and you're stuck and blocking our only way out.

Anne: What?

Sprig: Don't worry. We'll rebuild the tower of books and get you down.

[cicadas buzz]

Anne: What's that sound?

Sprig: Uh, it's cicadas coming out to graze. Which is totally fine. If you just stay super quiet, they should go away.

Anne: Oh, cicadas, like little cute cicadas? Or like-- Oh, my God! That's huge! [yells] No!

[cicadas continue buzzing]

Anne: [yells]

Sprig: Too late.

Anne: I'm not food! I'm not food! I'm not food! Get me the heck out of here!

Hop Pop: Hang in there, Anne!

Anne: [groans] I can't believe this. I tried to do things the right way! And now I'm gonna die stuck in this stupid hole and I'll never get back home!

Sprig: [gasps] That's it! This building used to be someone's home, which means, there was a bathroom!

Hop Pop: Ah, good thinking, Sprig.

Anne: Bathroom? Now? Can't you just hold it? [blows raspberry] [yells]

Polly: There was a bathroom. That also means there were--

Sprig: Pipes! Aha! Here it is! The blueprints!

Hop Pop: And look here. This is where the bathroom used to be, behind that bookcase. We just need to break it down!

Polly: [grunts] War cry!

Sprig: Yes! Don't worry, Anne! I'm on my way!

Anne: Sprig! Hurry up and help me!

(In Felicia's Tea Shoppe, Felicia goes to use the restroom.)

[light, gentle music plays]

[toilet flushes]

(Sprig comes up the toilet.)

Felicia: [screams]

Sprig: Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Anne: [screams, grunts]

Sprig: Yahoo!

Anne: Sprig? Wait. How did you get out?

Sprig: I don't wanna talk about it. Yeah!

Cicada: [neighs]

[sound of pins falling]

Sprig: Whoo-hoo! See you later, cicadas! [blows raspberry]

Anne: Thanks, Sprig. That was a close one.

Sprig: I'm just glad you're okay.

Polly: Yeah, so am I.

Hop Pop: Me too.

Polly: We couldn't wait. So we took the pipes too.

Hop Pop: I seen things.

Sprig: So we did it! We dove into another adventure and escaped! I told you it would work.

Anne: We didn't dive in. You pushed us.

Sprig: Yeah, but--

Anne: No, Sprig. Listen. This trip out of the valley, it's more than just another adventure. It's my chance to get home. I can't mess this up. So if that means doing a few things I don't like to help me get ready, well, then...

Sprig: Then that's what we'll do, together.

Anne: [chuckles] Aw. Thanks, buddy.

(The ground caves in under Anne and Sprig, and they fall into the archives.)

Anne and Sprig: [yell, grunt repeatedly]

Anne: We're okay! We landed on books!

Sprig: Knowledge hurts.