Hop Luck/Transcript

Frog: Aah! Help! Somebody help me!

Anne: And this bad boy is my kitty Domino. [meows] Anne: You guys would like her. She's got fire. Sprig: Ooh! Polly: Aw, she's so tiny! I feel huge! Sprig: Hmm. I will... set her free! Anne: Please stop doing that. [sizzling] Anne: [sniffs] Ugh! What is that? Did something crawl under the house and die? Sprig: [sniffing] Worse, Anne. Much worse. Hop Pop is cooking!

Sprig: Brace yourself. Anne: Brace myself for what? Sprig: Aah! [screaming] [humming] Hop Pop: Mmm! [slurping] Sprig: What's the plan this year, Hop Pop? Poison the competition? Ooh! Hop Pop: The plan is to win. Anne: Win? Hop Pop: The annual village potluck. Every year we frogs gather for a great contest. The family who brings the best-tasting dish is showered with love and copper coins. The family with the worst-tasting dish spends the night in... [thunderclap] Hop Pop: the shame cage! Anne: Brutal. Sprig: And guess which family ends up there every year. [all three sigh] Anne: If you think I'm gonna let my favorite froggy family end up in a cage, you've got another thing coming. I know I'm not technically a Plantar, but maybe I can help. All: Mmm! Sprig: Anne, we'd sure appreciate it. Anne: So, what you making over there, Hop Pop? Sock gumbo? Hop Pop: No, silly. It's a traditional recipe from my family's cookbook. We been using this baby since I was a pollywog. Anne: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I think I found your problem, guys. [all gasp] Anne: Old things are dumb! [gulps] Polly: Oh, that makes sense. Sprig: It's all so clear now. Hop Pop: But we Plantars have always cooked these recipes. What would my great-gam-gam say? Anne: She'd say "Move on." Hop Pop: [sighs] She was a fierce woman. Anne: Look, if we're gonna win this thing, we need something new, something revolutionary, something no one in the swamp has ever seen before. Something like... Sprig: [gasps] Anne: pizza! Sprig: Whoa. Polly: I don't know what it is, but I love it. Anne: Pizza is the ultimate dish. You haven't lived until you've shared one with your friends at the mall. Hop Pop: Now, now, hold on. Before we get carried away, what about this tried-and-true recipe? Swamp mold pot pie! Sprig/Polly: Pizza! Pizza! Hop Pop: Okay, okay. Sheesh. Sprig: We'll win for sure with this, Hop Pop. Anne: Now all we gotta do is-- [clears throat] All we gotta do is get four ingredients-- dough, cheese, basil, and tomatoes. Are you guys ready to make our pizza dreams a pizza reality? Sprig/Polly: Pizza dreams! Sprig: Oh! Oh! Maybe we should put pineapple on it. Seems like a natural fit. [groans] Anne: [whispers] Don't you dare talk about pineapple on my pizza. Ever. Okay. Let's go get those ingredients. Pizza dreams! Sprig: [weakly] Pizza dreams. Polly: Pizza dreams!

[buzzing] [grunting] Stumpy: If you want the dough, the boy has to marry my daughter. [Reveals Maddie Flour with a voodoo doll of Sprig as ominous music is heard.] Maddie: Hiiiii, Spriiiiiiig... Stumpy: Ain't she adorable? Anne: Done. Hop Pop: You know, if we used a traditional recipe, we wouldn't have to sell Sprig. Anne: No! That old book is old. Sprig's eternal happiness is a small price to pay for pizza. Polly: Agreed. Sprig: Aw, it's not so bad. Maybe we'll learn to love each other. Aah! Maddie: I've seen your death in my mind. Sprig: I was kinda hoping it'd be a surprise. [chuckles] Polly: [whispers] It will be. [sinister chuckle, slowed down] Anne: Congratulations on your new son. Now cough up the dough. Stumpy: Yay! Anne: Pleasure doing business with ya. Sprig: Well, looks like we gotta go. [chuckles] See ya. Polly: I wanna be the maid of honor! Maddie: See you soon, hubby...

[flies clucking like chickens] [all screaming] [roaring] Sadie: Thanks again for helping me out! I know Brutus can be a handful. [bellowing] Sprig: What are we here for again? Anne: Cheese! Polly: [laughing] Hop Pop: You know, there's a recipe in here that doesn't need cheese. Anne: No old recipes! Huh? [panting] [gasps] Hey, Brutus! Over here! ¡Toro! ¡Toro! [roaring] Anne: [laughs] Oh, come on! Sprig: Blah! Anne: [grunts, sighs] Anne/Sprig: Yeah, yeah, yeah! [roars] Sadie: Here you go, deary. A hunk of cheese made fresh from the milk of those ca-- Anne: Please don't tell me where it comes from.

Anne: Hey, careful with that basil, dude. We had to fight off like ten giant aphids to get it. Sprig: Who knew ultimate flavor could be so painful? Hop Pop: Almost lost my behind to those things. Sprig: This is the price of progress, Hop Pop. Anne: Exactly. And we've only got one ingredient left. Tomatoes. According to this, they should be up ahead. Hop Pop: Still can't believe I traded my favorite dentures for that map. Sadie: You know, I've never actually tasted a tomato. No one in town really sells them. Hop Pop: There's a reason for that. They're in the "dangerous vegetables" section. It suggests we go for prunes instead. Can't go wrong with prunes! Anne: Whoa-whoa. "Dangerous vegetables"? Come on!

[roaring] Polly: Ho... Sprig: ly... Anne: ...tomato. [roars] Hop Pop: You know, this baby's got some great substitutes, all of which are delightfully harmless. Sprig: Couldn't hurt to hear a few options. Anne: Hold on! Guys, the shame cage isn't just in the town square. It's up here. You're not gonna change the world without taking a few risks. We need to be bold, groundbreaking, brave! Hop Pop: Anne, there's a big difference between courage and stupidity! [screaming] [roaring] All: Hop Pop! [yell] [Anne panting] [all yelling] Sprig: My fiancée was right! [all grunting] Hop Pop: Holy smokes! Acid! Anne: Well, at least the ingredients are safe. No! [echoing] Anne: The ingredients! Everything we've worked for! Sprig: At least it'll be a quick, painless death. Polly: Why would this be painless? Sprig: Just let me have this lie! Anne: [sighs] My revolutionary ideas were supposed to save you guys, not get you killed. I shouldn't have so stubborn. I just really wanted to share a pizza with you guys. Hop Pop: Ah, I didn't care about that pizza stuff anyway. But you were really trying to help this family out, and that's worth something in my book. Anne: Your book? That's it. Is there anything in the old ways that could help us right now? Hop Pop: Well, I don't know. Nothing especially useful. Just that the throat of this giant tomato plant is absolutely delicious eaten raw. [loud burp] [gurgling] [chomping] [all yelling] [all roaring] [loud groaning] Polly: [spits] Know your place, plant! [bell tolling] Anne: There isn't much time. Let's go home and make one of your old recipes, Hop Pop. Hop Pop: Yup. But maybe we can spruce it up with something a little dangerous.

Frog: Yup. Still up here. Still need help. Frog #1: Put it right over here. Frog #2: Just a little touch of goodness. Frog #3 A few more bug legs should do it. Frog #4 Is that fly gonna say up there? Anne/Hop Pop: Perfect. [fanfare] Mayor Toadstool: All right! Let the annual potluck begin! Let's get to tastin' those dishes. Mmm! That is "scrumptious." Oh! Ooh! What have we here? [chomping] Oh, that is delicious! Yeah! Excellent effort! And last, but not least-- [sighs] the Plantars. What filth have you cooked up this ti-- Hmm? Tomato? That's awfully dangerous. [chuckles] Mmm. Mmm. Mmm! [drumroll] Mayor Toadstool: Why, I do declare! This is the best dish the Plantar family has ever brought to a potluck! Hop Pop: What? [all gasping] Sprig: What? Did we do it? Did we actually win? Mayor Toadstool: Win? No! No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, it's better than usual, but it's still terrible. Last place, as usual. [sad "wah-wah" theme plays] Mayor Toadstool: You folks should know the way to the shame cage by now. Hurry along. All right, boys, light it up.

[all sigh] Sprig: Cheer up, guys. Sure we came in last. Again. But thanks to Anne's new ideas and Hop Pop's old ones, we've done the best we've ever done. Hop Pop: You know, he's right. Polly: Yeah! Anne: We did, didn't we? Uh, this is weird, but... any chance I could squeeze in there? Hop Pop: How 'bout it, Carl? Carl: The more the merrier. Hop Pop: [chuckles] Hear that? Sprig: Get in here, you crazy kid. Anne: Whoo-hoo! Carl: [grunting] Anne: Well, if we can't share a pizza, at least we can share this. And you know, honestly, this isn't so bad... Hey, what the heck? What was that? Sprig: Ooh, I forgot to mention the shame nuggets. [crowd jeering] Frogs: You people should be ashamed! Stumpy: Hey! That's my son-in-law! Sprig: Hi. Polly: Is that the best you got? Hop Pop: [sighs] Tradition is such a beautiful-- Son of a slug!