Prison Break/Transcript

[whinnies]

[grunting]

[cheering]

Toad soldier: Work that tongue. Yeah, come on!

Soldiers: Whoo!

Toad soldier: Bull's-eye!

(Captain Grime enters the room.)

[cheering stops]

Toad soldier: It's Captain Grime.

Toad soldier: Captain Grime's here.

Toad soldier: Captain Grime.

[raspy breathing]

Grime: So, these are the valley's strongest warriors. Pathetic! Wait, hold on. Is this guy seriously wearing his breastplate as pants?

Soldier: Uh, it won't happen again, sir.

Grime: No, it won't. Take him to the pain room. [fingers snap]

Soldier: Not the pain room. I hate pain!

Grime: I'm sure you've all heard frogs in the valley are getting unruly. They're questioning our authority. Some towns have even stopped paying their taxes. And do you know why?

Soldier: Maybe they, I don't know, forgot?

Grime: No, you imbeciles! You've all gotten soft.

[gulps]

[croaks]

Grime: To get this valley under control, I need warriors who are fierce, cunning, and above all, ruthless!

[squeaking]

(A cockroach starts eating a drip of Sasha's gruel. She crushes it with a loose brick.)

Sasha: Get your own food, you dumb bug.

[door unlocks]

Sasha: Huh?

Percy: Hey, Sasha. Brought you dinner. Cricket Thursdays.

Sasha: Percy!

Percy: Hey, I've been working on my act. Do you wanna see it?

Sasha: Totally! Bring it.

Percy: Okay, stay right there.

[music playing]

Percy: Ta-da!

Sasha: Whoo! Wow! Get it, toad! That was legit, Percy. Honestly, you're wasting your time here as a guard.

Percy: You know what? You're right. Thanks, Sasha. I can't wait to see the look on Grime's face when I tell him that I'm--

[gasps]

(Captain Grime enters the room.)

Grime: Tell me what?

Percy: Uh...That I quit and I've always hated this job. Bye!

Grime: [sighs]

Sasha: Hey there, Grimesy! What's that, like, the fifth toad I've talked into leaving this week?

Grime: There's plenty more where that came from, and far more loyal than Percy.

Sasha: Are you sure about that? You're not exactly Mr. Popular around here.

Grime: Enough! Now who--

Sasha: Sent me? No one. How'd I get here? Don't know. What do I want? To find my friends and go home. Haven't we been through this enough?

Grime: It'll be enough once you start giving me real answers. Until then--

(Braddock runs in.)

Braddock: Captain Grime! Captain Grime! Sir! Oh, hey, Sash.

Sasha: Braddock! Hey, girlfriend. How's the garden coming along?

Braddock: [gasps] Oh, it's gorgeous. You should see the squash--

Grime: Did you need something, soldier?

Braddock: Oh! Right. Yes. We may have a small problem.

Braddock: There.

[screeches]

Grime: Kill the torches. Fast!

Braddock: Sir.

Sasha: A bird? You guys are scared of a bird.

Grime: Quiet. It's not just a bird. It's a heron, a murderous predator that happens to love the taste of flesh.

[screeches]

Sasha: Cute.

Grime: The most important thing right now is that we be very, very quiet.

[door creaking]

[music playing]

(Percy comes through the door loudly playing several instruments.)

Sasha[whispering]: Come back. Get back here.

Grime[whispering]: Percy, come back.

Braddock[whispering]: Percy!

Grime[whispering]: Get back here, Percy.

Percy(loudly): Sorry, guys. But this toad's gotta follow his dreams!

(The herons start attacking Percy, he runs back toward the Tower and they follow him.)

[screeches]

[screams]

[pants, shouts]

[growls]

Grime: Don't lead them here, you fool. Ugh!

[horn blares]

Grime: Close the gates.

Percy: Wait for me!

Sasha: Whoa, this is serious.

[screeches]

Sasha: Oh, crud!

[all screaming]

Grime: Ah, this place is falling apart!

[sobbing]

[screeching]

[whimpers]

Soldier: Find a happy place. Find a happy place.

Grime: Come on, you cowards. Fight back.

[screams]

Grime: Do something!

Sasha: Bring it on, birdbrain!

Grime: Hmm?

(Sasha attacks one of the herons, which has smashed through the wall of her prison.)

Sasha: Eat this!

[screeches]

Grime: The creature can fight. She could be worth something.

[grunts]

(Grime frees Sasha from her chains. She immediatly gets up and runs.)

Grime: Creature, fight with me. And together we'll--And she's gone.

[grunting]

Grime: I'm not afraid of death.

(Sasha returns holding a large barrel, which she throws at the heron.)

Sasha: Hey! Ugly chicken! [grunts]

Heron: [whimpers]

Grime: [laughs] Where did you get moves like that?

Sasha: Cheerleading, believe it or not.

Grime: I'm sorry, cheer what?

Sasha: Okay, listen up. If I help you get rid of these birds, you will give me provisions and release me. Deal?

Grime: Deal. Now grab every toad you can and head to the safe room.

[heron screeching]

Grime: Quickly.

[loud thudding]

[all groan]

[whimpering]

Percy: You know what would lighten this atmosphere a little bit? A joke! How many herons does it take to storm a castle?

(Grime points his sword at him.)

Percy: Too soon?

Grime: You lot are, without a doubt, the most useless group of toads I have ever seen.

All: Aw!

Grime: Maybe if any of you had a scrap of courage, we wouldn't be in here cowering like a bunch of--

Sasha: [laughs] Okay.

Grime: What?

Sasha: All right. Let's take five. Grimesy, a word in private, please?

Sasha: Okay, if you keep yelling at them like that, they'll keep being useless, and we'll all die.

Grime: What do you suggest, I congratulate them? Give them each an award?

Sasha: Not exactly. Just try saying nice things for a change. Get them to love you, and they'll do anything for you.

Grime: That actually works?

Sasha: Oh, it works, all right. Trust me.

Grime: Mmm. I don't know.

Sasha: Here, I'll give you a head start. Whoa, Grime! So you think your guards are all amazing but you're afraid to tell them your true feelings?

Grime: What? What are you--

Sasha: What's that? You think Braddock is the toughest toad in the tower 'cause she doesn't take garbage from anyone?

Grime: Uh...Yes! Braddock is tough. Tough as beetle skin.

Soldier: Ooh, look at you!

Soldier: Oh, way to go.

Braddock: [chuckles] Oh, well, I do wash with a steel wool brush. It really hurts.

Sasha: And what were those nice things you said about Gary?

Grime: Oh, Gary. Gary, Gary. Um...Gary never missed a day, even when he was sick.

Gary: What can I say, I'm dedicated.

Soldier: Ooh! Can't believe he actually likes us.

Sasha: And Percy?

Grime: I don't wanna do Percy.

Sasha: And Percy?

Grime: Percy's a grubbing idiot.

All: [gasp]

Percy: [whimpers]

Soldier: Ooh.

Soldier: Harsh.

Grime: Uh...But, when he makes a mistake, he owns it. And he doesn't stop until he makes things right. And because of that...

[gasping]

Grime: He has...

Sasha: Come on, come on.

Grime: [grunts] He's earned my respect.

All: [gasp]

Percy: [gasps] I have?

Grime: [stammers] Yes?

Percy: [sniffles] Captain Grime, sir, we're taking this tower back, even if we have to fight through 20 herons. Now come on, you toads. No one wants to live forever!

[cheering]

[whooping]

[screeching]

Percy: [gulps] For Grime!

All: [cheer]

Percy: Before we die, Braddock, I love you. I've always loved you.

Braddock: [gasps] [kisses]

[screeching]

Grime: Up here, pheasants!

[both whooping]

[both shouting]

[screeching]

[grunts]

[Sasha grunting]

[both shouting]

[screeching]

(Sasha and Grime defeat the herons, they fly off.)

All: Whoa.

Grime: Toads of Toad Tower, today was a great victory. If it weren't for your bravery, the fortress would be lost. You're all heroes!

Soldier: Did Grime...

Braddock: Just call us...

Percy: Heroes?

[all cheering]

Grime: All right, troops, listen up.

All: Sir, yes, sir!

Grime: Okay. Wow. Um...Head down to the mess hall for some food and a round of beetle mead. You've earned it.

All: Sir, yes, sir!

Toad: Hup, hup, hup, hup!

Grime(to Sasha): Unbelievable. This compliment stuff is witchcraft.

Sasha: Uh-huh, yeah, okay. Anyways, I upheld my part of the deal. So give me some rations, a map, maybe a cool cloak or two, and I'll be on my way.

Grime: Not so fast. You're far too dangerous and manipulative to be left to roam free.

Sasha: You warty little--

Grime: But we both know I can't stop you. So go ahead, be a vagabond, wandering alone in the wilderness.

Sasha: Or?

Grime: Or stay here. Help us rebuild the tower. Perhaps serve as my second-in-command. And when we're done here, you, me, and the entire garrison will march on the valley, restore order, and find your friends. Now, how does that sound?

Sasha(thinking): I think I can live with that.

Grime: Then come, Lieutenant. We have much to discuss.

Toad: Captain Grime, sir. Bog has just returned from Wartwood and is waiting for you in the briefing room.

Sasha(to herself): Hold on for a little longer, girls. I'm coming for you. And when I find you, we're gonna get home. But first, I think we're gonna have some fun with this place.