Sprig Gets Schooled/Transcript

[birds squawking]

[sighs] City walking is great.

But I could use a little sitty-sitting. Let's stop at this park for a bit.

Works for me. Sprig, Polly, you guys want to toss the old frisbeetle around?

-[bell tolls] -[gasps]

[rowers grunt]

[fencing newt] En garde.

[band playing]

Kids, this ain't no park. This is Newtopia University.

Oh, man. College is the best.

According to movies back home, you can do crazy things

and be horribly irresponsible with no consequences.

[Hop Pop] I can't believe we're actually here.

No Plantar has ever gone to Newtopia University.

And it's my dream that one day, far, far from now, one of you two will attend.

-Huh? -[chuckles] Sorry, Hop Pop.

I don't think that either of us is cut out for this.

Especially Sprig.

What? What you talking about?

You don't have the attention span.

Ha! That's ridiculo...

Sprig, go long! Okay!

Now, how does one escape from a mountain mantis?

-Yes, Parsifal. -First, we must calculate the probability of escape

by average number of mantises per capita.

Divided by the average body weight of those fleeing for their lives.

Whoa, whoa, guys. All you gotta do is tickle it behind it's hind legs with a willow branch.

You'll escape no problem.

That's correct.

Sprig catch.

[all] Ooh.

My, my, my, my, my.

Aren't you a precocious young frog?

Resourceful, survival-savvy, athletic. Any other hidden talents?

Hmm. I can do funny things with my arm.

[screams]

Uh, anything else?

-I play the fiddle. -Show me.

-[student] Ooh. -Oh, yes. Good.

Sprig, what did you break? What did he break?

Oh, no, nothing, nothing. I'm Professor Herringbone.

Headmaster here at Newtopia University.

Oh, well, uh, I'm Hopediah Plantar. Big fan of your school.

I hope one day far, far in the future

one of my grandchildren will attend your fine institution.

Well, what if that one day is today? Huh?

We have a program for young, promising students of the future!

And I think Sprig here is a perfect fit!

-Huh? -We could do a trial stay for Sprig tonight.

And if it all goes well, he can start with us next semester.

Seems reasonable. Isn't this great, Hop Pop? It's just what you wanted.

Hmm. Well, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Then it's agreed.

Sprig Plantar, your trial begins immediately.

Welcome to the university.

All right! Hop Pop, your dream is coming true.

And don't worry. I won't let you down.

Hey, you gonna throw that bug-disc back or what?

Guess what, Anne? I'm going to college.

Cool. Wait, what?

-[Sprig grunts] -Now, there are a couple of school rules

you'll need to get adjusted to.

[grunts] If I can handle a mountain mantis,

I can totally handle this.

That's the spirit. Enjoy your first class, my boy.

[grunts, groans]

At Newtopia Prep, we do not bound around heedlessly.

Oh, uh, yes, of course.

-[Sprig grunts] -We also tuck in our shirts.

And straighten our ties.

And we absolutely do not wear hats.

[screams, sighs]

[professor clears throat]

Hey, hi, how's it going?

All right, class. Let us begin with concept of...

Hmm? Hmm? Uh, I mean, we all wanted to do that, right?

Mr. Plantar, hand over that contraption this instant.

[sighs] Now, back to the lesson.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this for Hop Pop.

[screams]

[screams]

[sighs] Just look at how happy he is. They grow up so fast.

[gasps] Sprig's tadpole tail. I remember when it fell off.

It's so cute.

[Bessie purrs]

-[explosion] -[students screaming]

Rodney Mcdonald, for the last time,

get that cow out of the lecture hall.

Eat my shorts, prof.

-[cow moos] -[professor screams]

-[Anne chuckles] -Sprig gets to do all that.

-[groans] Jelly! -Yeah. They're probably having crazy cool parties

and slapping farm animals right now.

Just over that wall. [sighs]

Hey, Anne, how good at climbing are you?

Oh. I'm picking up what you're putting down.

[both chuckle]

Will you two keep it down? I'm trying to cry up here.

[both] Sorry, Hop Pop.

-I got extra homework. -[gasps] Lucky.

[groans]

[sighs]

Mr. Plantar, could I have a word?

Oh. Hi, Professor. So you've heard, huh?

Yes. I've spoken with your professors.

[sighs] And they all think I'm a terrible student.

I get it. I'll leave.

"Leave"? Oh, no, no, no, no.

It's true, your energy can be a bit disruptive, but it's a good disruption.

-Huh? -And, since this is going to be such a project,

we are starting early.

No waiting for next semester. [chuckles] No, no, no, no.

Tomorrow, you officially start as a student of Newtopia University.

-What? -With extra classes and extra work,

oh, we will shape you into something amazing.

"Extra work"? "Extra classes"?

Now, sleep well. Because at dawn, the real work begins.

[chuckles] Oh, your family is going to be so proud.

Nope! Nope, nope, nope, nope. Sorry, Hop Pop. But I can't be here another ding-dang second.

-I'm leaving tonight. -[school bell rings]

-Hmm? -[PA: man] All right, students,

doors locking in three, two, one.

No!

I'm locked in.

I'm... I'm a prisoner.

What's that?

Now why would a school need all this security?

Unless... [gasps] This ain't a school at all.

Maybe they're frog-nappers and this whole thing

was just an elaborate scheme to steal Sprig's beautiful pink skin?

Hang on, Sprig, I'm a-comin'.

[grunts, strains]

Guess I gotta cut back on those bug burgers.

Hang in there, Sprig!

[strains] Got it!

[both giggling]

-[sighs] -[grunts]

Ready for the time of your life?

Bring it.

Uh, I think I just killed somebody.

[alarm blares]

-Oh, shoot. -Make a break for it!

[strains]

[guard] A security breach! Hit the lights!

[screams]

[grunting]

-Nailed it! -Hey, did you just hear someone yell, "Nailed it"?

Release the weevils!

-[weevils growl, bark] -"Weevils"?

-[weevils bark] -[screams]

Hey, do you hear dogs?

Depends. What's a dog?

[Sprig screaming]

Is that Sprig?

Hey, Sprig, where the party at, man?

-Can't talk. Running. -[barking]

-[barking stops] -[weevils growl]

Oh, boy. Run!

This is my fault for looking like such a snack.

-[strains, sighs] -[alarm blaring]

[pants] Hop Pop, what are you doing?

Coming to save you.

Hang on. [grunts]

-[strains] -All right, hold it right there.

Sprig and Mr. Plantar? What's going on?

You're not frog-napping my boy.

You were trying to make me a prisoner.

I'm sorry, frog-nap? "Prisoner"?

Sprig isn't locked up. He can leave whenever he likes.

Then what's with all the gate locking? The alarms, the guards?

That's for the students' safety. We are in the city, after all.

There are some dangerous oddballs out there.

Hey, Professor, we found these two dangerous oddballs trying to sneak into the university.

You can torture me all you want. I'll never talk.

-Polly? Anne? -[sighs]

We were just looking for a rad college party.

And I was trying to escape.

Sorry, Hop Pop, but I hate this place.

It's boring and stuffy, and they don't let you wear hats.

I know it's your dream. I'm sorry I couldn't make it come true.

"Dream"? "Dream"?

Forget the ding-dang dream. [strains, grunts]

I ain't ready to let you go yet. Heck, I ain't letting you go ever!

It's homeschooling for the rest of your life.

Forget higher learning, or big opportunities.

You belong at the bottom of the socioeconomic barrel with me.

Yay! Wait, is this a good thing? Oh, what the heck. Yay!

My boy, you continue to impress.

No one has ever evaded campus security before.

The offer of admission still stands.

Thanks, Professor, but I don't think it's for me right now.

In a couple of years, who knows?

Well, we'll be here waiting for you when you're ready.

Now, come on, everyone, let's get back to that crazy party.

[gasps] I knew it.

-[weevils bark] -[Anne, Polly scream]

Happy you're back, Sprig.

Me too, Hop Pop.

-Hey, Sprig, go long! -Okay!

[chuckles] Yeah!