Hop-Popular/Transcript

Anne: Hey, Hop Pop! Got the groceries!

Polly: Couldn't buy much since we've barely got any money left.

Sprig: Feeling any better, Hop Pop?

Hop Pop: [sighs] No. Ever since we lost the vegetable stand I've just felt, well, lost. I was fine the first couple of days, but it's really starting to catch up with me.

Anne: Well, maybe this will cheer you up. Pa-pow!

Sprig: The Grub-N-Go's hiring greeters! All you gotta do is smile and be friendly.

Hop Pop: [sighs] Just another job for me to lose.

Sprig(dragging him off the couch): See? You're a natural.

Anne: Now head out there and get back in the game.

Hop Pop: Lemme go! The couch is the only one who understands me!

Man: Thank you, Mr. Plantar. Don't call us, we'll call you.

[crowd clamoring]

Villager: Got to get ready!

Hop Pop: What's all this rabble?

Wally: Sign-ups for the election! You been living under a rock? 'Cause I have and even I knew that.

Hop Pop: Election?

Toadstool: Vote Mayor Toadstool! If reelected, I will always look out for the little guy.

(Toadie squeaks as Toadstool uses him as a stool.)

Toadstool: Upsy-daisy.

[engine roars]

Child: (Coughing in the dust.)

Hop Pop: [scoffs] Some mayor. That guy keeps raising our taxes, and what do we got to show for it? Our snail-ways are a mess. Our buildings are falling apart. Heck, we ain't even replaced the schoolhouse after last year's millipede incident!

[children screaming]

[roaring]

Felicia: Am I crazy, or is he making sense?

Hop Pop: Maybe we need a mayor who looks out for the people he's mayoring. 'Cause ours, well...[chuckles] He's only looking out for himself. Anyway, good afternoon, everybody.

Wally: I nominate Hopadiah Plantar for mayor!

Felicia: I second that!

Villager: I third it.

Villager: Let's hear it for Hopadiah!

Villager: Sounds good to me.

Felicia: Hop Pop for mayor, everyone.

[cheering, applause]

Hop Pop: Huh?

Hop Pop: Guess what, kids!

Anne: You passed the interview?

Sprig: You got the job?

Hop Pop: Nope! I'm running for mayor.

All: Huh?

Hop Pop: Don't you see, kids? If I win this election, I'll prove once and for all that Hopadiah Plantar ain't no loser!

Anne: Oh, no. If he loses, he'll be more down than ever.

Polly: And we just got the couch cleaned.

Sprig: But if he wins maybe we'll get the old Hop Pop back!

Polly: True that.

Anne: Fair point. Hop Pop, we're all in!

Hop Pop: Really? Aw, kids. I won't let you down. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom practicing my distinguished expression! [laughs]

Anne: Ugh. Politics are the worst.

Polly: Yeah. The monster fights are pretty cool, though.

Anne: The what now?

[cheering]

Toadstool: You've made a powerful enemy today, Hopadiah. Toads have run uncontested for decades. This is a disgrace.

Hop Pop: The only disgrace is you as mayor.

Mrs. Croaker: Oh, I like this Hopadiah.

Villager: I don't know. Toadstool is tried and true.

Albus Duckweed: Ahem! Welcome to the official mayoral trials, where the candidates try to win your vote.

Anne: I'm suddenly very interested in politics. (Blows horn loudly.)

Sprig: Okay, Anne. That's enough.

Duckweed: Our first trial is all about strength. The first candidate to mount the beetle wins!

[whistles]

[beetle roars]

Duckweed: Ready, set, go!

Toadstool: [grunting] Oh, my giblets! I've got you! No, I don't!

[growling]

Hop Pop: Hey! [laughing] Come and get it.

Beetle: [shrieks]

[cheering, applause]

Duckweed: The second trial is about sensitivity. Can you figure out what these hatchlings need? A good mayor would.

Toadstool: I know what these dumb birds want. Money. All right, all right. Here's your handout.

(He throws a handful of coins at them; they begin pecking him.)

[screeching]

Toadstool: [grunting] Oh! Oh!

Toadie: There, there, sir.

Hop Pop: Hmm...

(He feeds them some worms.)

Birds: [chirping]

Hop Pop: [laughs]

Crowd: Aww...

Sprig(to Anne): That's how he fed us when we were babies.

(The mother bird suddenly returns; all run off screaming.)

Duckweed: Being mayor is a lot like being dropped in the woods naked and forced to find your way home. So that's what we did!

Crowd: [gasps]

Hop Pop: Thanks for showing me the way, Jeremy.

Jeremy: [chirping]

Hop Pop: Safe travels, brother.

[crowd cheering]

Polly: Yeah! Whoo!

All: [chanting] Hop Pop! Hop Pop!

Toadstool: This is getting out of hand, Toadie. I could actually lose! Looks like we'll have to stop him... Ow! the old-fashioned way. Illegally.

Sprig: Excited for the final trial tomorrow, Hop Pop?

Hop Pop: Not really. I know I've been doing well, but if I mess up tomorrow, it could cost us the election.

[knocking]

Toadie: Mr. Plantar, an anonymous associate would like to speak with you.

Anne: You mean the mayor?

Toadie: No comment.

Anne: Come on, dude, you only know like one person!

Toadie: I said no comment!

Toadstool: Ah, so glad you could join me, Plantar. I'll give it to you straight. I want you to lose tomorrow's trial.

Hop Pop: Well, yeah. I figured.

Toadstool: No, you dimwit, lose on purpose! In return, I'll give you a new vegetable stand. Heck, I'll put it in the center of the market, tax free! You'll make tons of money.

Hop Pop: That's, uh...hard to say no to.

Toadstool: Well, then, don't.

Anne: Hey, Hop Pop.

Hop Pop: [sighs]

Anne: So, uh, what did the mayor want?

Hop Pop: If I lose on purpose, Toadstool will give us the stand back.

Sprig and Polly: [both gasp]

Anne: What? No! You've got a real chance to win.

Hop Pop: He'll also make us rich. We'd be set for life.

Polly: Oh, in that case, take the deal.

Anne and Sprig: [both] Polly!

Polly: We were all thinking it!

Hop Pop: [sighs] Polly's right, guys. It's just too good to pass up.

Anne: Well, whatever you pick, we'll be behind you, dude.

Sprig: All the way.

Hop Pop: Thanks, kids. [sighs] Guess I've got some thinking to do.

Duckweed: Ladies and gentlephibians, you know the candidates, you've seen 'em fight monsters. But for the final challenge, you'll see them fight...each other!

[applause]

Toadie: Ah!

Duckweed: Now you both know the rules. Fight starts as soon as the bell rings.

Old frog: What? Ring the bell?

[bell rings]

(They begin boxing.)

[grunts]

[groans]

Duckweed: Ah!

[groans]

[cheering]

[chuckles]

Toadtool: Ah! [grunts]

[gasping]

Toadstool: Ow! Okay, Plantar! You've put on a good show but... that's enough!

Hop Pop: This can't be good.

[grunting]

[crowd groans]

[crowd gasps]

Toadstool: Like we talked about. Stay down, Plantar.

Crowd: [distorted] Get up!

Anne: You can do it!

Sprig: Come on, Hop Pop!

Toadstool: Stay down!

[groaning]

(Hop Pop gets up.)

Toadstool: What are you, crazy? You could have been rich. You could've had your stand back. All you had to do was give up! [panting] Why?

Hop Pop: Because this is about more than just me!

(He punches Toadstool.)

Toadstool: [groans]

Duckweed: That's a knockout!

Old frog: Huh? Ring the bell!

[bell rings]

[cheering, applause]

Crowd: Hop Pop! Yeah! Whoo!

Duckweed: Well, folks, that wraps up the trials. Now it's time to tally the votes! With 88 votes, 100% of Wartwood, Hopadiah Plantar!

Hop Pop: What? I won?

Duckweed: And with 22,000 votes, the entire rest of the Valley, Mayor Toadstool!

Hop Pop: What?

Duckweed: Congratulations, sir.

Toadstool: Thank you. Thank you all. You're all too kind. Democracy wins again!

[crowd groaning]

Toadstool: Well, you certainly gave this toad a run for his money. Good thing you didn't win though, huh? [laughs] A frog beating a toad. That would have made headlines! Just be proud the whole town loved ya. I'm surprised the rest of the valley didn't.

Hop Pop: How was I supposed to know the rest of the valley got a vote? I'm a theater major, for cricket's sake!

Toadstool: Wait, wait now. You didn't campaign outside Wartwood? Oh, son. That's just sad. Really is. Almost takes the joy out of my victory.

Toadie: The victory piñata is all set up in the lobby, sir.

Toadstool: Well, I did say "almost." Wahoo! Piñata! I'm gonna hit it.

Sprig: Hey, Hop Pop...You okay?

Hop Pop: Yep! I've never felt better!

Sprig: Huh?

Anne: Really? You know you lost, right? Are you in shock? Is he in shock?

Hop Pop: I may have lost, but I stood my ground and fought for something important. And that feels good.

Wally: Hopadiah? Uh, may we have a word?

Felicia: We all pitched in and built you a stand. For giving us something better than produce...

Wally: Hope.

Mrs. Croaker: You've made us all proud.

Hop Pop: I may have lost the race, but I'm back at the market with all of you. And that makes me a winner. This is perfect. I wouldn't have put the root vegetables with the tubers, though. It's not important. (beat) I'll fix it later.