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[Open on the Plantar Farm. Cut to the kitchen; the family are in the middle of a game of Go Fish.]
Hop Pop: Hmm. Got any threes?
Polly: I ain't telling you nothing, old man.
[From the basement, Anne's footsteps are heard; she kicks open the basement door and emerges, her face completely broken out in pimples.]
Anne: AHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sprig: AAGH!!
Hop Pop: IS SOMEONE DEAD?!!!
Polly: WHY ARE WE YELLING!!??!!
Anne: Just... look at me. [shows her breakout]
[The Plantars gasp.]
Sprig: She's diseased!
[They get out weapons.]
Hop Pop: We have to quarantine her!
Polly: Don't struggle, Anne.
Anne: What? No, guys, it's not a disease. These are pimples. It's just a human thing.
Hop Pop: Oh. False alarm, everyone. Just a human thing.
Sprig: [sighs with relief] Okay.
Anne: [sighs] Everybody already treats me like a monster. This is just gonna make it ten times worse. [groans]
Sprig: Ah, come on. No one treats you like a monster, Anne.
Anne: Are you kidding? I can't even go outside without making a scene.
[Flashback to Anne whistling as she walks through town.]
Villager: Ah! It's hideous.
Woman: Look away, Teddy. Look away.
Villagers: [screaming]
Anne: [saddened] Ah, poop.
[End of flashback.]
Sprig: Okay, fair point, fair point. But who cares what they think? We like you.
Anne: Uh-huh. I'm going to go hide in the basement until this clears up.
Hop Pop: Sorry, Anne, but nobody's hiding anywhere today. I need help at the vegetable stand. We got a bumper crop of scream beans that need sellin'.
[One bean screams. Anne slams her head on the table.]
[Cut to the market.]
Merchant: Fresh crickets, ma'am? Always fresh.
Merchant: Worms! We got worms!
Villager: Are these grubs organic?
[Cut to Anne, who has taken to hiding her face with sunglasses and a scarf which she adjusts.]
Hop Pop: All right, kids. Get out there and sell like your lives depend on it. Because they do. We-- We really need this.
Sprig: Come one, come all. Try the beans everybody's screaming about.
[screaming]
Anne: Beans, everyone. Wow, can you believe it?
Woman: Oh, gracious!
Villager: Like I'd buy beans from a monster.
Anne: Yup.
Frog child: [giggles] You can't catch me.
Anne: Whoa!
Villager: Leapin' larva! Look!
[All gasp]
Anne: No! No, don't look at me.
Villager: Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Villager: Yeah, I think so.
Villager: They're warts. Beautiful, ruby-red warts.
Anne: Wait. Huh?
Villager: Stunning.
Villager: Are they real?
Villager: I wanna touch them.
Villager: Amazing.
Villager: Three cheers for the girl with the ruby-red warts.
[cheering]
Villager: Yay!
Anne: Whoa! Whoa!
[giggles]
Anne: Whoo!
Toadstool: Oh, this is bad, Toadie. People hate us!
Toadie: With a passion, sir!
Toadstool: It's as if embezzling money from the town makes you the bad guy! (groans) If we don't fix things soon, we'll lose next month's election for sure. The only thing that can save us now is a miracle.
[cheering]
Toadstool: Hmm?
Toadstool: Oh, my dear Toadie, I do believe our miracle has arrived.
Sprig: This is awesome. Just look at all these gifts.
Anne: The townspeople like me. They really, really like me.
Polly: [gasps] Chocolate covered maggots! Come to Momma.
Hop Pop: Yeah. They really seem to like your human bumps, Anne.
Anne: [gasps] I better take care of these moneymakers if I wanna keep this up. [grabs a stick of butter and rubs it on her face] Babies. Babies are hungry.
[all shudder]
Anne: Too much?
[horn honks]
Toadstool: Anne, my dear. Care to join me for a joyride?
[whinnies]
Toadie: We brought the fancy snail.
Anne: Get out!
Sprig: We all get to ride in that? Awesome!
Hop Pop: Finally, the luxury I deserve.
Toadstool: Nope. I'm afraid only Anne is invited. Just look at those beautiful warts. [chuckles]
Anne: Don't look so glum, guys. It's just a ride. I'll be back in a few.
[whinnies]
Anne: Whoo-hoo!
[coughing]
Hop Pop: It begins.
Sprig and Polly: Huh?
Hop Pop: Fame changes people, kids. And not in a good way.
Anne: Whoo! Man, this snail is fast.
Toadstool: Anne, we can help each other. I can make sure you stay popular, and in turn, you can help me improve my reputation. How does that sound?
Anne: Sounds harmless. Can I honk the horn?
Toadstool: Yeah, sure.
Anne: Whoo!
[honks]
[crowd cheering]
[sighs]
[crowd cheering]
[cheering]
[screaming]
Toadstool: Here we are. From now on, Anne, this is your home.
Anne: Whoa! This is awesome. And to think just yesterday people were treating me like a monster. Look at me now, baby.
Toadstool: [chuckles] Glad you're enjoying yourself. Stick with me and I'll make sure you never go out of style. Now take care of those warts. Toodles.
Sprig: Hey, Anne. Got time for a visit?
Anne: Oh. Hey, guys. Just look at this place. Epic, right?
Sprig: Yeah. It's great.
Anne: [grunts] Can you believe I was living in your basement? Ha! It was cold, dusty, not to mention smelly. Oh, no offense.
Hop Pop: None taken.
[chimes]
Anne: Oh, shoot. We gotta wrap this up. I've gotta sign autographs, kiss tadpoles and do some interviews, all before dinner. So good to talk to you guys. Love you, mean it. Mwah.
Sprig: The heck was that? It's like she's a different person.
Polly: Yeah. A crazy person.
Sprig: This stinks.
Hop Pop: Hey. None of that. Kids, when one of your own makes it big, you support them. No matter what. Because deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, they're the same person.
Sprig: [sighs] You're right, Hop Pop.
Polly: Okay.
Toadie: Ma'am, I think I found you the perfect dress for tonight.
Anne: Oh. Yeah, okay.
(The next day)
[crowing]
[knocking on door]
Anne: [groans] Five more minutes.
Anne(reading): Be at the assembly at noon sharp.
Anne: Good morning, my greasy babies. Time to get ready for the--[gasps] No. No. No, no, no, no, no. My pimples! What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? [gasps] Uh, hello? Anyone there?
Toadie: Just me. Toadie. [laughs] Wow.
Anne: Uh, can you deliver this note to the Plantars?
Toadie: Of course, ma'am. But before I do, could I get an autograph? I'm a huge fan.
Anne: Yeah, sure. Why not? Here. Now go.
Toadie: Uh, this is a little hard to read.
Anne: Just go!
Toadie: Yes, ma'am.
[footsteps retreating]
[sighs]
Sprig: We got your note.
Hop Pop: We came as fast as we could.
Sprig: What's the emergency?
Anne: My life is ruined. My zits. They're gone. Without them, I'm...I'm nothing.
Sprig: [sighs] Anne, that's ridiculous. I'm sick and tired of this and...and...[sighs] We'll do everything we can to help you.
Anne: Oh, thank goodness.
Sprig: Hmm. [muttering] I got it! What if we stuck some of these swamp berries to your face? They kinda look like pimples.
Anne: Great. But how can we get to the swamp without me being seen? I have f-Annes everywhere.
Sprig: F-what?
Anne: F-Annes. It's what we're calling my fans.
Polly: I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Hop Pop: Don't worry about the crowds, Anne. I have a pla-Anne.
[groans]
Hop Pop: Make way! Plague towels, everyone. Plague towels.
[all gasping]
Polly: If you don't wanna cough up your organs, stay back!
Villager: Hey, everyone, that's Anne's foot.
Anne: Uh-oh.
Sprig: The jig is up. Run!
[all screaming]
Villagers: Anne, we love you!
Villager: We need you. Please...
Anne: We'll never make it.
Hop Pop: Not without a diversion, we won't. Anne. Give me your shoe.
Anne: Uh... Okay.
Hop Pop: Hey, everyone. Lookie. I've got Anne's shoe.
Anne: Hop Pop, no!
Villager: He's got Anne's shoe.
Villager: Get him!
Hop Pop: Fly, you fools.
[crowd roars]
Polly: Eh, he'll be fine.
Sprig: Look, over there.
Anne: How do I look?
Sprig: That should do it.
Anne: Thanks for helping me, guys.
Sprig: That's what we're here for.
Polly: Not me. I'm here for the drama.
[crowd cheering]
Toadstool: Where is she? I'm losing a point in the polls every minute she's late.
Anne: I'm here. I'm here.
Toadstool: There you are, my dear. I was so worried.
Anne: Sorry, I was caught up in this whole mob situation. Luckily the Plantars were there to help me and--
Toadstool: The Plantars? Anne, honey, I thought we talked about this. Hanging out with those bumpkins will only pull you down to their level. I think it's for the best that you not be seen with them anymore. Understand?
Anne: Understood.
Toadstool: Good. Now get out there. Your public awaits.
[all cheering]
[feedback screeches]
Anne: Crazy week, huh? Couple days ago, I was a monster. And now I'm the pride and joy of Wartwood. I've got a nice apartment, f-Annes, fame. But you know what I'm missing? The people who'll stick with me whether I'm a monster or not.
[crowd gasps]
Villagers: She's hideous again.
Toadstool: Anne, what are you doing? You're throwing it all away? Now how am I supposed to convince these idiots to vote for me?
Toadie: Um, sir?
Toadstool: What is it, Toadie? I... Oh.
[coughs]
Toadstool: Did I say "idiots"? I meant lovely, lovely townspeople, eh? [chuckles] Uh, simmer down now. Simmer-- Whoa. This is an outrage! Stop that!
Villager: Show's over.
Villager: What a waste of time.
Villager: Let's get outta here.
Anne: Uh, hey, guys.
Sprig: These are horrifying.
Hop Pop: Yep.
Anne: Thanks for sticking with me, even when the attention got to my head.
Hop Pop: Just remember to do the same when I'm rich and famous.
Polly: Never happening.
Anne: Any chance I can go back to being the monster that lives in your basement?
Sprig: Of course.
Anne: Thanks, you guys. Hey, you know what? I still have the key to the apartment. You guys wanna try out the hot tub before they change the locks?
The Plantars: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Hot tub.
Hop Pop: Can't wait to feel those bubbles in my pants.