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This is a transcribed copy of Girl Time.
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Sprig Vs. Hop Pop" Next: "Dating Season"

(This episode starts at the Plantar house as Sprig starts to make the long distance spit.)

Sprig: This one's going all the way, baby.

(He spits a spit dart and it lands in the pond.)

Hop Pop: Heh! You call that a spit? Now watch this.

(Hop Pop spits a spit dart far into the air and lands into the pond.)

Anne: (groans) Just what I thought you guys couldn’t get any nastier.

(Sprig and Hop Pop gasp)

Hop Pop: Nasty? Why spiting is practically a sport in Wartwood.

Sprig: We even have a town record. Whoever breaks the record gets a trophy.

(The camera pans closer to the trophy.)

Anne: A trophy for spitting? I can’t believe you two are exposing Polly to this sort of—

(Polly interrupts Anne.)

Polly: THAT RECORD IS MINE!

(Polly begins to spit really really far. Anne cowers for cover. The spit lands on a bucket.)

Hop Pop: That’s my little spitter.

Sprig: You can spit the frown of a widow.

Anne: Wait a second...

(Hop Pop picks his ear.)

Hop Pop: I always said you'd be the best in the family. Well, you take after your great aunt Gertrude.

(Anne gets disgusted and Hop Pop sniffs his ear wax.)

Hop Pop: She was always very good at spitting...

(He put his earwax in his jacket pocket. Anne gets more disgusted. Sprig has moss and bugs all over him and gags.)

Anne: Oh, no. Polly, you've been surrounded by boys your whole life. It's not to late. I can fix this. You need girl time! She needs girl time! Hop Pop, wallet!

(Anne takes Hop Pop's wallet and takes Polly by the arm. Polly freaks out.)

Polly: Why are you taking me, crazy lady?!

Hop Pop: Not sure what she wants with my wallet, not like I got any money.

Sprig: Less talk, more spit.

(Sprig and Hop Pop begin to spit. The scene transitions to the town square of Wartwood.)

Anne: Whoo! Girl time. It's time for giiiirrrrl time.

(Polly hops out of Anne's arm and onto a barrel.)

Polly: Okay, Anne, what the heck's going on?

Anne: Look, hanging out too much with Sprig and Hop Pop is dangerous. If we aren't careful, we'll wake crusty and storing our boogers in jars. We need a day to reset. A day that's ladies' only.

Polly: That sounds bad.

(Anne gets Polly to look at her reflection in a shovel.)

Anne: Look, when I'm done with you, you are going to feel like a new Polly. Trust me.

Polly: Well, I guess it couldn't hurt. Plus, you and Sprig are always getting into fun trouble. So what are we doing? Toad rustling? Snake punching?

Anne: Better. We're going to...

(Anne pushes the spa's doors with her foot.)

Anne: A spa.

Polly: What?

(The camera gives the viewers a tour of the Wartwood Spa. Anne and Polly walk over to the two toads swimming in the water and bumping into each other.)

Anne: Those guys know what's up.

(She goes to the spa's check-in and places Polly on the ground.)

Anne: Two of your fanciest spa treatments, please?

Spa Salesman: That will be ten coppers each.

Anne: What the… Hop Pop's IOU's? Uh, will this work?

Spa Salesman: Hmmm, well, it does say he's good for it. Accepted, here are your towels.

(Another spa salesman hands Anne and Polly their towels.)

Anne: Alrighty, then.

Polly: I don’t know, Anne. This seems boring. Why don’t we do something fun instead.

(Polly smacks another salesman with her towel and laughs. Anne holds Polly to interrupt her.)

Anne: Polly, there’s more to life than spitting and hitting stuff.

Polly: Really?

Anne: Just trust me.

Polly: Well…

Anne: Girl time, engage!

(Anne with a towel around her relaxes with her feet under water while the fish massage them. Then, she opens her right eye and sees Polly riding a fish. So she puts her back into her spot. Then she gets her hair styled by a barber.)

Barber: So then I says to him, I says, “I don’t want to eat there.” He says, “Why don’t you wanna eat there? You ate there last week, I thought you liked it.”

(Meanwhile, Polly throws a comb at picture A and throws another one at a jar and breaks it. The toad customers ducked while Polly throws the 3rd comb at them and the right one dives to get her. Then, Anne comes out and twirls in her yellow and green dress. Polly has some trouble getting her hands into the gloves. So, Anne puts a white Goldilocks wig on her. Then Anne gives Hop Pop's IOU'S to the dress saleswoman. The dress saleswoman looks at the IOU. Meanwhile again, Felicia Sundew gives the cookies to a customer.)

Customer: Thank you.

(She gives the cookies to Anne and Polly. Anne hands the recipient to Felicia)

Anne: Here you go.

(Polly tries to grab the cookies, but couldn’t reach them.)

Polly: Anne, I thought girl time was gonna be exciting. You and Sprig are always getting mobbed or eating or eaten by mobs.

Anne: Yeah, but not by choice. Come on, isn’t this great? Sure beats pocket boogers and spitting, right?

(She eats a cookie from the plate.)

Anne: Excuse me, madam, what kind of scone is this?

Felicia: Oh, those are dung beetle.

Anne: (gulps) Tasty.

Felicia: Not to put my snout in other people’s business, but if you ladies are having girl time, I know this great place where you can get a full body massage, hmmmm.

Anne: What? I love massages. I used to get them all the time back home.

(In Anne's flashback, the camera shows a store building called “The Good Life” Anne's voice vibrates when she gets a massage from a chair.)

Salesman: Uh, ma'am, you really need to go. You’re making everybody uncomfortable.

Anne: Neeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeeeeer.

(It switches to the restaurant.)

Anne: I never had a legit full body massage before. We're going.

(Polly feels upset)

Polly: You know what, I think I'll pass. Gotta get home and work on my distance.

(Polly begins to spit. Anne feels terrified.)

Anne: (gasps) Polly Plantar, I am not giving up on you. If there’s one thing that will fix you, it's a massage.

(She points on Polly and rushes her outside the door. Felicia reads Hop Pop's IOU and looks at the wanted sign of Hop Pop.)

Felicia: (gasps) Someone get the Constible!

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