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Anne: Look, dude, all I'm saying is that where I'm from you could get arrested for having a couch this firm.
Hop Pop: Back in my day we didn't have furniture. We sat on rocks. Sharp ones.
Anne: Okay. But if I get butt blisters, I'm blaming you.
Hop Pop: Back in my day we called those "character."
Anne: [groaning] So... heavy.
Hop Pop: Mind the flagstone.
Hop Pop: Back in my day, kids spent less time complainin' and more time watching their step.
Anne: Yeah? Well, where I'm from people fixed their crummy houses.
Hop Pop: [gasps] This house is like family! You apologize!
Anne: To a house?
Anne: Where I'm from, we didn't rush people in the bathroom!
Hop Pop: Well, back in my day we didn't have a bathroom!
Anne: Stop hitting the door with a battering ram!
Hop Pop: It's been two hours!
Sprig: [yells] I can't take this anymore!
Polly: They're just getting used to each other. It's not a big deal.
Sprig: Not a big deal? Do you remember the Hendersons next door? They used to argue all the time, and look what happened to them.
Wally: Nothing like scavenging the remains of a broken frog family.
Sprig: If we don't do something now, it won't be long before their bickering tears this family apart.
Polly: I still think we should just give them time. Not like we have a lot of options. You can't force people to get along.
Sprig: Of course not, Polly. Of course not... Of course--
Polly: Just go already!
Hop Pop: [sighs]
[flies honking like geese]
Sprig: We've been robbed!
Hop Pop: Say what?
Anne: [laughs] Sorry. Sorry. It's just that Hop Pop delivered the perfect sitcom catch phrase.
Hop Pop: Must be painful to make so little sense all the time.
Hop Pop: [gasps] My prize-winnin' corn!
Anne: You've won prizes?
Hop Pop: It's an expression, Anne. What are you, the fact police?
Sprig: The injustice! The outrage! We've gotta catch this thief!
Hop Pop: Agreed. And it's nice to see you so passionate about produce, Sprig.
Polly: Yes. Very odd.
Sprig: If the thief stole once, it'll steal again. The only way to catch this monster is a stakeout.
Polly: I like steak.
Hop Pop: Good idea.
Sprig: And the only ones who can do it are... Anne and Hop Pop!
Anne: Say what?
Hop Pop: Huh?
Sprig: Well, I obviously can't... because I have the attention span of a... Oh, look at that.
Anne: Why not Hop Pop and Polly? Seems like a winning combo to me.
Hop Pop: Polly's a baby, Anne.
Anne: Just asking, Hop Pop. Ugh.
Hop Pop: [sighs] Very well. Let's be honest though. Anne'll probably fall asleep and it'll just be me.
Anne: Why would I fall asleep first? Aren't you like 100 years old?
Hop Pop: I'm a crisp 68!
Polly: You stole the corn, didn't you?
Sprig: Oh, absolutely. But now those two have to spend the whole night together and bond!
Polly: Sprig, you can't manipulate people like this!
Sprig: I can, and I did. And it's going to save this family.
Sprig: [humming] Mm-hmm. [chuckles] Just look at 'em. And now to watch the flowers of friendship bloom.
Hop Pop: For goodness' sakes, Anne, put that lamp out. We're trying to catch the thief, not scare it away.
Anne: [blows] [yawns]
Hop Pop: [chuckles] Had a feeling you wouldn't last.
Anne: Worry about yourself. I'll be fine. I just need a little boost is all.
[electric guitar riff]
Hop Pop: "Blam Berry Blitz. The drink that punches you in the face and doesn't stop." Hah! That silly drink won't keep you up! Now, this will keep you up.
Anne: [sniffs] Ugh! What is this poison?
Hop Pop: Mama's old gourd tea recipe. I'm not surprised you don't like the smell. It's way too strong for you.
Anne: Ha! No way it's stronger than my Berry Blitz.
Hop Pop: Gimme that!
Anne: Gimme that!
Hop Pop: [gargling]
Anne: [groaning] [exhales] [groaning]
Hop Pop: [gasps]
Anne: Blech! [coughing]
Hop Pop: [coughing]
Anne: [laughs] You should have seen the look on your face. You were dying!
Hop Pop: [laughs] And what about you? I didn't even know you could turn that color. What, you got chameleon in your blood? [laughs]
Anne: [sighs] You know, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get home.
Hop Pop: I know what it's like to miss something, Anne. I find myself pining after the good old days way too much.
Anne: Yeah. We're kinda similar that way. You're always going on about the old days, I'm always going on about back home.
Hop Pop: Yeah, deep down we're just a couple of softies, ain't we?
Sprig: It's working. They're... connecting.
Anne: Of course, my situation is way worse than yours.
Hop Pop: Always gotta make it about you, don't you? "I'm Anne, and my life is worse than everyone else's."
Anne: Oh, yeah? Well, at least my head isn't a teakettle. Wait. What?
Hop Pop: Oh, yeah? Well, at least my hair isn't rainbow stardust.
Anne: What the--
Hop Pop: Uh... What?
Hop Pop: What's happening to us?
Anne: How should I know-- Oh. The drinks! Our body chemistry must be so different that we're having crazy reactions to each other's extreme beverage. That was the smartest-sounding thing I've ever said.
Hop Pop: [whistling] This is terrible! I never shoulda let you trick me into trying something new!
Anne: Oh, yeah? Well, your gross old mama's tea did this to me!
Hop Pop: [exaggerated gasp]
[no audible dialogue]
Sprig: No, no! This can't be! They're fighting again.
Polly: Oh, no. What a surprise.
Sprig: [grunts] Okay, okay. No problem. We'll just have to take matters into our own hands.
Polly: [gasps] Wait. You don't mean...
Sprig: Oh, that's right, Polly. I'm going to steal more corn right under their noses. They'll have to do this again tomorrow, and the next night, and the next night, until they're the bestest friends who were ever friends, and then the family will be saved! [sinister chuckle]
Polly: You're mad!
Sprig: Try and stop me! Ha-ha!
Polly: Oh, boy.
Anne: I didn't make you drink my Berry Blitz.
Hop Pop: Well, you grabbed for my tea first.
Anne: This wasn't my fault.
Hop Pop: Well, it sure wasn't mine.
Anne/Hop Pop: Huh?
Anne/Hop Pop: The corn thief!
Anne: [coughing] Watch where you're pointing that thing.
Hop Pop: Sorry.
Polly: Stop this madness!
Sprig: Aah! Let go!
Polly: You've lost your mind!
Sprig: A small price for saving this family!
Hop Pop: Hey!
Anne: Stop right there, you-- you... thief? Huh?
Anne/Hop Pop: Whoa.
Hop Pop: The corn thief! And it's the scariest thing I've ever seen!
Anne: Finally something we agree on.
Hop Pop: We've got to take this thing down. Are you with me?
Anne: Till the end.
Hop Pop: Then let's do this!
Hop Pop: Teakettle beam, fire!
Anne: [grunts] Rainbow magic!
Monster: [groans] [sinister laughter]
Anne: Our attacks have no effect.
Hop Pop: But we can't give up so easily.
Hop Pop: [groaning]
Polly: Well, they're broken.
[both imitating lasers firing]
Hop Pop: It must be immune to magic.
Anne: Quick! Grab those power-ups!
Polly: Run, run, run!
[Sprig continues screaming]
Sprig: [gasping, panting]
[both grunting, groaning]
Sprig: [groans] [gasping]
[Hop Pop, Anne yelling]
Anne: H [groans]
Sprig: [screams] [yelling] No, no, no, no, no, no, no! [gasps] Anne, Hop Pop, it's me! I've learned my lesson. I promise.
Monster: [distorted voice] I'll never manipulate people--
Anne: Uh, does the corn thief kinda sound like Sprig to you?
Hop Pop: Now that you mention it.
Sprig: [sobbing] Don't kill me! Please!
Hop Pop: Huh?
Hop Pop: Uh, wai-- Wha-- None of that was real? But it was so terrifying!
Sprig: Don't kill me! Please!
Hop Pop: I thought we were goners.
Anne: Me too. And you... defended me.
Hop Pop: And you stood by my side like a true warrior.
Anne: You know, Hop Pop, back home we call that having a friend's back.
Hop Pop: Well, back in my day we called it "pulling a Stinky McGuire." But if you don't know Stinky, the saying don't mean much, so let's just stick with yours.
Hop Pop: Boy, I'm tir--
Polly: Wow, Sprig, I owe you an apology. Your dumb ol' plan actually kinda worked.
Sprig: Thanks, Polly, but maybe next time we do it your way. [sighs]
Polly: [sighs] Guess I should drag them inside. But first, I'm parched. [gulping] [exhales] [grunts] All right, Boulder-tron, you ready to roll?
Boulder-tron: Always, my queen.
Polly: Good man, Boulder-tron. Good man.