|— This is a transcribed copy of Swamp and Sensibility. —|
|Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.|
|Previous: "Toadcatcher"||Next: "Wax Museum"|
(The episode begins with the fwagon, being driven by Hop Pop, passing through a valley, while Sprig and Anne are inside watching a series on Anne's cell phone.)
Mariah: Don't you get it, Mother? I know you want me to be a ballerina, but my heart belongs to hip‐hop. Are you disappointed?
Mariah's Mother: No, I'm proud of you. All that hipping and hopping was breathtaking.
Mariah: Oh, Mother.
Mariah's Mother: Oh, Mariah.
Anne: And that is the masterpiece, From Pointe to Poppin.
Sprig: Talk about an emotional roller coaster‐‐
(The fwagon stops abruptly and Sprig falls.)
Anne: Sprig! You all right, buddy? What the heck is going on out there?
Hop Pop: Come on, Bessie. Come on.
Hop Pop: Almost there.
(Bessie's reins break.)
Hop Pop: Oh, dang it! The ding‐dang reins snapped.
Bessie: (sees a sheep) *chirps* (goes to the sheep)
(The sheep runs, being chased by Bessie.)
Hop Pop: *screams* We gotta get these reins fixed or we can't control Bessie.
Sprig: Don't worry, Hop Pop. There's a town right down the road. See? Ribbitvale.
Hop Pop: Ribbitvale? The most expensive town in all Amphibia? No way!
Anne: Looks like we don't have a choice, HP.
Hop Pop: *sighs* You're right. But when we get there, don't get sucked in by the fancy.
(They take the fwagon to the entrance of the city.)
Polly: Guys, look.
(They see a lot of fancy buildings around them.)
Polly: So shiny. So sparkly. *screams*
Hop Pop: Hey! Hey! I said look away from the fancy.
Sprig: It's like nothing I've ever seen before. A ten‐tier fountain. A solid gold snail carriage. There's even a One‐Eyed Wally. Wait. What?
All: One‐Eyed Wally?
Anne: You didn't tell me you were leaving the valley, you scamp.
Wally: Oh, um‐‐
Wigbert: Walliam, you know these pungent common folk, do you?
Wally: Uh, yes, Father. I met them on my business travels.
Wigbert: These must be your servants from Wartwood then.
Hop Pop: Servants?
Wally: Yes. That's right, Father. These are my servants. *groans*
Wigbert: (referring to Anne) And this must be some kind of exotic beast you tamed. Though I sooner would have had it stuffed.
Wigbert: *laughs* Anyhow, I am Wigbert Ribbiton.
Hop Pop: Ribbiton? As in Ribbiton's Ribbons? The finest web crusty floss in all of Amphibia?
Wigbert: That's us. And when I retire, Walliam here will be head of the Ribbiton family empire. Right, Walliam?
Wally: Right, Father. Can't wait for that. *sighs*
Wigbert: Hello. Looks like someone needs repairs. My mechanics will make her right as rain in no time.
Mechanics: Hup, hup, hup, hup.
Hop Pop: Oh, mighty kind of ya.
Wigbert: You'll be joining us back at the mansion, of course?
Wally: Oh, no. They couldn't‐‐
All: Oh, yes, we could.
(The door to the mansion opens.)
Wigbert: Here we are.
(They walk towards the entrance of the mansion.)
Wigbert: Some of my prizewinning birds. Ever seen a frog torn in half by a peacock? Grizzly stuff.
(Inside the mansion.)
Wigbert: It's, uh, one of our smaller rooms but please enjoy.
(The plantar and Anne enter Wally's bedroom.)
Anne: What the heck, Wally?
Hop Pop: This place is magnificent.
Anne: What happened to "Look away from the fancy?"
Hop Pop: It don't count if ya don't have to pay for it.
Sprig: Hey, let's go explore.
Hop Pop: Okay.
Anne: So... Walliam, what's going on here? I thought you were a fun‐loving tramp, not some little rich boy.
Wally: The truth is I live like a bum in Wartwood because... Well, it's what I love. This life may look nice but there's so many rules. And if my family knew the real me, well, they'd disown me for sure.
Anne: Just be honest with them. Tell them the truth and I know they'll support you. Just like my favorite movie From Pointe to Poppin'.
Wally: *grunts* (pulls his accordion out of a hole in the floor) It's just too risky, Anne. I have to hide these around the house, or I'd lose my mind.
Anne: What about that time you told me not to care what people think about you?
Wally: This is different. This is my family we're talking about.
Anne: I still think you should be honest with them. I mean, what do you have to lose?
Wally: Well, come with me and I'll show you. (walks and bumps into the wall) Meant to do that.
Anne: Yeah, yeah. Of course.
(The Plantars are walking down the hallway.)
Polly: Welp, we're lost. Probably gonna be stuck here forever.
Sprig: Oh, I know. Let's just open some doors at random. One of them's gotta be an exit.
(They open a door and see that in the room there are several frogs taking a steam bath.)
Hop Pop: Sorry, we're just‐‐ Carry on. (closes the door)
(They open another door.)
(In the room there's some broken furniture and there's three frogs hitting a chair with bats.)
Female Frog: (kicking the chair to pieces) Hi‐ya!
(They close the door.)
(They open another door. In the room there are several peacocks.)
(One of the peacocks turns and turns out to be a frog in disguise.)
All: *sigh* (leaves)
(Anne and Wally enter a stable.)
Wally: So much of my past is here. It would break my heart to leave it all behind. (opens one of the doors)
Wally: Meet Fiddle Leaf. I've been riding her since I was a wee tadpole.
Anne: Aw. (sees a picture of Wally and his beetle from years ago then see Wally with his Beetle) Ugh. Well, if you're not gonna tell 'em, what are you gonna do?
Wally: Maybe if they could see how happy I was living in Wartwood, they'd understand and accept me for who I am. *groans* Who am I kidding. Well, I better go get ready for dinner.
Anne: Right. Dinner.
(Wally leaves. The plantars come in.)
Anne: Hey, where you guys been?
Sprig & Hop Pop: Around.
Polly: Rich people are messed up.
Anne: Dude, I've just spent the last hour talking with Wally about how miserable he is. Well, tonight I'm gonna help him come clean.
Sprig: Oof. Are you sure meddling is a good idea?
Anne: Pfft. It's not meddling. It's the right thing to do because it happened in a movie. And movies are never wrong.
(Later, in the dining room.)
Frog: I hear the market has really taken off.
Wigbert: *clears throat* A toast to Walliam's valet. *shrieks*
Anne: *clears throat* Great segue. To thank you Ribbitons for your hospitality, I have prepared a special presentation.
Frog: It talks. Oh, capital.
Anne: Gonna ignore that. Now, please enjoy this video of Wally's life in Wartwood. Edited by me. (plays a video on her cell phone)
Wally: Wait. What?
(First is seen Wally playing the accordion.)
Wally: ♪ Oh, I'm a vagrant With a heart of gold ♪ (falls) Aw. Whoop.
(There's another video where Wally's in a chicken coop with some chickens.)
Wally: What can I say? I sleep better with company.
(Another video is seen where Wally is bathing in a pool.)
Wally: ♪ La la la la laa La la laa ♪
Wally: Ooh. Gotta go. *laughs* (falls)
Cops: Oy, oy, oy!
(The cops beat up Wally.)
(The video ends.)
Anne: Cue emotional acceptance.
Wigbert: *clears throat* Walliam! That is how you've been acting outside of Ribbitvale? Unacceptable. You have brought shame onto the house of Ribbiton. Worse. You've been lying to us.
Wally: I‐I only lied because I didn't think you'd accept the real me.
Wigbert: Well, you weren't wrong. We do not accept this. You are henceforth forbidden to leave this town.
Wally: *gasps* Then you leave me no choice.
(Wally takes off his ribbon, rolls it up on a fork and spins it around the table.)
(The fork hits a gong.)
Anne: What? What does that mean?
Sprig: Family challenge.
Hop Pop: Come on, Anne. You've been here long enough.
Wally: If my family won't accept me for who I truly am, then I don't want to be a Ribbiton anymore. I challenge you to a winner‐takes‐all duel.
Wigbert: Very well. One‐on‐one Beast Polo. You win, you can leave Ribbitvale and live however you like. You lose, you take over the family business and stay in Ribbitvale forever.
Wally: I accept.
Anne: *groans* Kinda went off script there.
(In the hallways.)
Wally: Why did you do that?
Anne: You told me this is what you wanted. You said, "I wish I could see me in Wartwood."
Wally: But I didn't actually mean it.
Anne: Look, I just wanted to help you be proud of who you are. A poppin' lockin' fresh don't stoppin' hip‐hop B‐girl.
Wally: A what?
Anne: Never mind. What can I do to fix this?
Wally: You know what Anne, you've done enough already. I've got to face the music on my own. (leaves, playing the accordion)
(At the polo field.)
Crumpet: Hi‐ho, Crumpet the Frog here, and welcome to the official Ribbiton family challenge. A ribbiting game of Beast Polo. Hey, see what I did there? Ribbiting, riveting? Because we're frogs?
Hop Pop: Well, this guy's quite the character.
Crumpet: Okay. Here comes the ball now!
Polly: I don't see any‐‐
(Wally's dad takes off his fake eye and puts it on a pad.)
Crumpet: *groans* And now the players will pick their beasts.
Wigbert: I choose Andromeda.
Wally: And I choose Fiddle Leaf.
Wigbert: Not so fast. Fiddle Leaf is a Ribbiton family beast. Since you no longer wish to be a Ribbiton, you can't ride any of them.
Wally: Well, then what am I supposed to ride?
Anne: I'll be your beast!
Wigbert: What in heavens?!
Anne: Look. If you're gonna go down, you might as well go down fighting. Plus, I got you into this. At least let me try to get you out.
Wally: All right. You know how to do this?
Anne: No, but I'll figure it out.
Wally: Well, here. Put this bit in your mouth. (gives Anne a rein)
Anne: Not happening, bud.
Crumpet: Okay, fellas. Let's keep this game cool and friendly‐like. Three, two, one. Ee‐eee!
Crumpet: Crump Sir Ribbiton has scored the first goal.
Wally: Turns out dad's still got it. We might be in trouble.
Anne: Well, then come on. Let's step up our game and demolish this old man.
Wally: Steady. He's still my dad.
Anne: Sorry, I'm just so competitive.
(The ball is put on the field.)
Crumpet: That beast may be small, but it sure is agile. A goal for Walliam.
(It's seen moments in the game where sometimes Anny and Wally score, and other times Wally's dad does.)
Crumpet: All right, folks. This is it. Next goal wins.
(Anne with Wally and Wally's dad run in the field, but Anne stumbles.)
Anne: (falls) *grunts*
Wally: Oh, no!
Wigbert: (throws the ball) *grunts*
(The ball bounces off a goalpost.)
Wally: Ah. He missed.
Anne: Second wind.
Wally: Come on, Anne. We're so close.
Anne: He's too fast. We'll never make it.
Wally: That's what you think. (pulls his accordion out of Anne's hair)
Anne: Wally, how long has that been there?
Wally: *chuckles* A season at least.
(Wally uses his accordion to hit the ball before his dad gets it.)
Crumpet: Goal! Walliam wins.
Hop Pop: Ooh. They won!
Anne & Wally: We did it!
Wally: I can finally be myself.
Hop Pop: Can't be yourself without your signature hat.
Wigbert: Ow! *clears throat* Well, son, I concede defeat. I suppose this means goodbye forever. *sobs*
Wally: I don't want to leave forever. I just want to be able to be me, wherever I am. (hugs his dad)
Wigbert: You mean you still want to be a Ribbiton?
Wally: Of course, I do. But you have to accept me for who I am. Both Walliam and Wally.
Wigbert: I suppose we can do that. Ah, accordion, eh? You know, I used to love playing the jug, but I gave it up a long, long time ago. Oh, all right. You got me. *grunts* (reveals a hole in the field where he was hiding jugs)
Wally: You've been holding out on me.
Crumpet: Aw. Isn't this great? I just love happy endings. What do you say? How about a song? Always works for me.
Wigbert: I don't see why not.
Wally: Thanks, Anne, for everything. Well, not everything.
Anne: Don't mention it.
Wally: Hit it, Pops.
(Wally and his dad start playing.)
(A peacock appears.)